When I told my husband I’d be writing about intimacy and sex his response was, “Well that blog will be pretty short since it’s non-existent…” Ugh, RUDE!
Maybe I’m in the minority here, but being a stay at home mom completely wears me out and by the time I’m woken up at 6:45 am by Lincoln, feed him breakfast, clean the house, make lunch, have play time, dinner for Lincoln, get Lincoln to bed, cook mine and Wesley’s dinner (no, my son doesn’t eat what we eat and that’s an entirely different issue), clean the kitchen, relax with a glass of wine, maybe get to watch my favorite tv shows, take a shower, brush my teeth and get into bed the LAST thing on my mind is intimacy. The problem is that sex and intimacy is a vital component in any relationship… at least it was when we were creating our bundles of joy so why should that change just because we are parents? Well, because it does! So how do we balance work, parenting, friendships, our significant others, etc and manage our intimacy life?! Well, we don’t… just kidding WE HAVE TO or none of us will have a second child and we’ll all be divorced single moms. There is a happy healthy balance and while some of us have found it others may still be searching for it. There’s no recipe for a perfect sex life and I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I have found a somewhat happy medium by doing some pretty basic things.
Now I love our television just as much as anyone, but there are times you just have to say NO to TV! I challenge everyone out there to dedicate one night a week to no tube. Instead turn on the I-Pod (my favorite Pandora station is Ray LaMontagne, Click his name to listen…his music is pretty steamy), get 2 glasses of wine, and cook together! My husband and I will stand in the kitchen while I do the cooking, chat about our day/week, enjoy cheese and crackers, laugh, chase Lincoln around if he’s still awake, and just enjoy one another. We make it a point to eat at our dinner table at least 6 nights a week, which also gives us some intimate time. I know this is a stretch, but try holding hands while talking at the dinner table or just a simple touch here and there… it’s easy to forget, but remember when we were on those first few dates and we couldn’t take our hands off our future baby daddy??? Well, try to get back to that place! It’s not dead, I promise; it’s just hidden behind laundry, dirty diapers, and spit up. Another fun game to try is High and Low. Talk about the high of your day and the low of your day. It’s fun and it gets you engaged in one another’s day.
I get it, sometimes we are tired, worn out, and just not “in the mood,” but if you try to break up the monotony of the day and enjoy one another’s company you might be surprised at how easy the “Welcome Mat” lays itself down at the side of the bed.
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