“Being a Mom from the perspective of a “Mentor Mom”. That was the instruction I was given by my lovely daughter Allison….write a blog….by this date…and make it good!! It is so typical of children to expect only the best from their parents and not a horrible expectation but a tall order sometimes.
I became a mother at 21 and I remember the day as if it were yesterday. Things were different back in the seventies and I first met my daughter face to face approximately an hour after she was born. The nurse brought her to me after my husband and family had left to get something to eat. She was all bundled up like a mummy and I just stared at her for 30 minutes…I didn’t check fingers or toes…didn’t even unbundle her. I just stared at her as she stared back at me with equal intensity. I don’t remember this great feeling of falling in love but I do remember how scared I was. I was scared of the awesome responsibility that I had lying in my arms. I felt like I was totally responsible for helping her become the best that she could be. Her future was mine to guide….the good and the bad. I was scared out of my mind. The second time they brought her back to me (again I was alone in the room) I examined her to make sure all toes and fingers were accounted for. I messed up her mummy-like blanket (no one can wrap up a baby tighter than a nurse) and apologized for my ill-blanketing skills when the nurse returned. She said that was okay and that she had been afraid that I didn’t like the baby and I suppose with her experience it may have looked that way. The fact was I had already fallen in love with my daughter while pregnant and the thought of what it meant to be a mother apparently had not been heavy on my mind….but now reality hit. I am a Mother!! The responsibility!! The love!!
But this blog isn’t about responsibility, it’s about what I would have done differently while learning how to be a mom. So fast forward 40 years and a second daughter later, here’s one of the most important lessons I have learned throughout this wonderful journey called, motherhood. DON’T SAVE ANYTHING! I made the mistake of saving everything! And when I say everything, I mean everything… just come see my garage for proof. I have anything from baby books to blankets, locks of hair to first lost tooth, dolls to toys, megaphones, pom poms, old cheerleading uniforms, prom dresses, and even retainers and training bras. I just knew my little girls would want all of their old things to pass along to their children. Okay, here’s the lesson: new moms out there, THROW IT ALL AWAY! They don’t want their old clothes, baby blankets, baby books, dolls, or out of style prom dresses…they aren’t as sentimental about their things as moms are.
Susan (right) with her 2 daughters, Lisa Davis (left) and Allison Mack (center)
Enjoy your children because they will bring you the greatest happiness, love and joy and I personally believe make you a better person due to your unselfish care and love BUT don’t save their stuff…they don’t want it!!
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
— Erma Bombeck
We like our mama, too!
Awww, sweet Susan! Even with your initial fear, you clearly succeeded. You’ve raised two wonderful daughters…
My boyfriend’s mom saved everything like you did… and I’m tempted to light the garage on fire every time she suggests we take the boxes home. 😉
Great one Susan!!
My mom saved a few things that I am glad to have but you are right I would not have used any of it for my kiddos!!!!