When my daughter asked me to write something that would be beneficial not only to men but to the women who may read this, I must admit I had mixed feelings. How could I possibly give advice from a man’s perspective that would appeal to a woman, especially the young mothers who routinely read the various posts on this blog?

I am not very good at giving advice especially when it comes to the do’s and dont’s of a relationship especially marriage. God knows I made enough mistakes in my lifetime and I truly wish I could do things over again. It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results so if that is the case then I must be totally nuts!

I placed my career above everything and I do mean everything. The old corporate ladder just kept getting higher and higher. No matter how hard I worked or how much I achieved it wasn’t enough. There was always another rung.

First I will address the men who may read this. If there is anything age has taught me, it is that there is nothing more important than your wife and children. Guys, we have to make a living for our families and we are considered deadbeats if we don’t but there is a balance that we have to find between work and our relationship with that special lady in our lives. Just when we think we have that problem solved then a child enters the equation. Now we have to do a balancing act with our wife, job and child. The boss demands more and our families need more. We feel like a rubber band being stretched in three directions. Throw finances into the mix and we have a recipe for disaster.

Ladies, here is your side from a man’s perspective. We have been out there fighting the elements, trying to please the boss, earn a living, and keep you and the children happy. We scratch our head and ask ourselves whatever happened to that exciting, sexy, fun loving passionate girl I fell in love with? And after years of living and learning, I know the answer…Guys, she is still there but after chasing the rugrat all day or working and then having to come home cook supper, wash clothes, and take care of the little curtain climber, the last thing she needs from you is to see your lazy butt sitting on the couch drinking a beer wanting to know how long before dinner. Not that she was in the mood in the first place but I will guarantee you the only thing hot and steamy this night is you heating up leftovers in the microwave.

Men, I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer but one thing I have learned is that the key to a woman’s passionate side starts with good back rub. Throw in dinner cooked by you, plus you taking care of little Johnny or Susie’s bath, giving her a chance for some “me” time then add a little soft romantic music and I don’t mean the theme from Monday Night Football and boys you will be surprised how that girl you fell in love with suddenly reappear.

Ladies, to have a lasting relationship with your man you have to be willing to keep him happy at home. Make him feel he is the most important thing in your life. Men have a tendency to feel neglected especially after children come into picture. It’s never easy for you after putting in a full day with the kids plus all the other things you as a woman are faced with but always save energy for one on one time with that special man. But remember one thing if you don’t save time for him and make him feel special there’s always someone out there who will. Guys this also applies to you as well. Just remember that old country song “lonely women make good lovers.”

Turn the tv off and spend quality time with each other. Be interested in what he did and guys ask her about her day. Every couple should never miss an opportunity to tell their mate how much they love them. That should be the first thing said in the morning and the last thing at night. The best piece of advice that I can give every couple is never, I said NEVER go to bed or leave the house angry. It may just be the last time you ever see them in this world.

I hate cliches but I will end this on an old cliché but how true it is; “it takes two to make it and two to break it.” Willie Nelson said it best in a verse from this song “love is where you find it when there is no love at home and there’s nothing cold as ashes after the fire is gone.”

Guys and ladies it’s ok to love that job but jobs come and go, your wife and children are forever and they will be there when everyone else abandons you.

Charly and daughter, Allison in Dec. 1986

Charly and daughter, Lisa 1978

Lisa, Charly, and Allison Oct. 2011

Daddys don’t just love their children every now and then… it’s a love without end, amen.


  1. Very insightful, what a great perspective! Gave me something to think about for sure (and will pass along for my hubby to read)…thanks for taking the time to write this blog Charly, you rock!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here