Warning: This blog is about sex. If that bothers you, don’t read anymore.
Have you ever met that couple that is constantly raving about their amazing sex life and how they can’t get enough of eachother’s nakedness? Well, I have and let me tell you, I just can’t help but think they’re lying. Have you ever met that married couple with kids that tells you the same thing? They HAVE to be lying, right?
Isn’t there an unwritten rule that says we’re not allowed to have a strong desire to have sex once we have kids so we can all roll our eyes and shake our heads at the men in our lives?
In my mommy-world, there are not enough hours in the day to get it all done, and at the end of the day when my make up is smeared and I can finally sit down on my Crayloa stained sofa, the last thing on my mind is sex or anything is the sex category (hugging, kissing, massages, etc.) I love my husband, I think he’s hot/sexy/cute and I wouldn’t want anyone else jumping his bones but for some reason ever since Caroline came around I just can’t bring myself to get my freak on. Don’t panic–we’ve had sex in the last 18 months–it just hasn’t started with me waiting on the bed like this…
Yes, that’s me. I took those as my husband’s wedding gift. Who knows where that lingerie is…probably buried underneath my sweats. Thanks to our amazing wedding photographer Sara for letting me share this photo 😉 Oh ya…and my husband too who said “It’s kind of revealing but it’s your blog!”
What happens to our sex drive once we have kids? Where’s the “Ohh La La” or the “Zsa Zsa Zu” for all my Sex and the City fans out there. Not to gross anyone out but I used to really enjoy sex. Is there some gene that is ejected out of our bodies as we’re pushing the baby out? Is there something in our post-baby birth control (in my case an IUD) that says that since I don’t want a baby I can’t be in the mood either? What’s happening! I know it’s not just me. It can’t be. In fact, here is a FOURTEEN PAGE LONG THREAD about women who don’t have a sex drive anymore.
BUT venting about it isn’t going to get us anywhere. We have to take action and get our mojo back. So, here are a few things I think will help kick start those sleepy sex engines of ours.
1.) When we lived in Dallas, I was a member of MOPS (One of the best things I ever joined!) While at a Mom’s Night Out, several of us were having this conversation and someone told me “None of us are in the mood but it’s twenty minutes of your 24 HOUR day and will keep your husband happy.” GREAT advice Jane Doe (her name is not being revealed for her protection.) For some funky reason men NEED to get jiggy with it and she’s right, it doesn’t take that long unless you make it take that long so wrap your mind around it and give it a go. Your husband will be happy and happy hubby makes a better marriage.
2.) Add some romance to the To-Do List. Allison blogged about romance a few months back and it’s so true. You aren’t going to want to take your panties off if you can’t remember the last time you held your husband’s hand. Hold his hand! Send sexy texts throughout the day. It will bring back the flirty girl that was left on the delivery table (I’m telling you I think “it” switches the second that kid pops out!)
3.) WEAR SEXY PANTIES! I think this is the biggest thing. If you own a pair (or five) or period panties raise your hand. You know, period panties…the ones that cover your entire butt cheek and are wide enough to fit one of those giant pads. Yea…STOP WEARING THOSE. You can’t feel sexy in over sized period panties. Slip on some lace panties or a thong (even though I hear thongs aren’t “in style” anymore) or ask your husband what his favs are and surprise him one day. You’ll feel friskier without changing your daily routine.
4.) Try having sex in the morning before the babe(s) wake(s) up. I know it’s tough to wrap your mind around sex, much less morning sex, but think about it this way…your husband will be in a GREAT mood the rest of the day and you’re done. No need to worry about the post-dinner sex look.
5.) Don’t let your babies sleep in the bed with you. (Welcome to my world). This is the absolute biggest sex killer. I know it’s tough to let your little booger sleep in their own bed but the older they get, the more difficult it is to break bad habits and the longer you wait, the longer you and your hubby are playing footsies for intimacy. Not good.
So what do you say? Can we do it! Can we try to wake up our sleepy sex drives? Yes. We. Can! And if nothing else, it gives us an excuse to do some damage at Victoria’s Secret!