To breast feed in public or not to breast feed in public, what did/would you do?
The day Lincoln was born brought on lots of firsts… first baby, first time to have labor pains, first lost mucus plug, first c-section, and first time to breast feed. The lactation consultant came in with her little plastic nipple, but that thing was just weird and awkward so thank God Lincoln knew what to do, because I was clueless. I’ll never forget all the friends and relatives coming in and out to visit me in the hospital. I was so stressed out trying to make sure to feed my kiddo every 2 hours, dealing with paperwork, testing on Lincoln, eating my own meals, and then trying to figure out how to be polite in asking people to leave so I could breast feed. I was not comfortable AT ALL breast feeding in front of anyone other than my mom, sister, and husband. And since I wasn’t very good at it I felt like I was either exposing my goods for everyone to see or suffocating my newborn under the sheet. Because of my personal feelings about breast feeding I find these recent “nurse ins” extremely interesting. In case you haven’t heard about the recent Target story, click here to read about it in its entirety. Brief synopsis: A mother was at a Texas Target store breast feeding her infant in the women’s clothing section when a couple of employees asked her to move to a fitting room and then other employees began walking by and rolling their eyes at her and giving her dirty looks. The mother contacted Target’s corporate office, went on a social media frenzy about her story, and now she’s receiving national attention and even sparked a nurse-in at the Texas Target store with approximately 50 other women.
In all of this I never questioned a mother’s right to breast feed in public. I breast fed my son and after months of doing it I became less shy and more care free about who I did it in front of. I never sat at an Olive Garden table breast feeding and eating my lasagna, but I did breast feed at a friend’s birthday party barbecue sitting behind everyone and had no shame standing in the bathroom at Maudie’s breast feeding because all of the stalls were full. Sometimes a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do! I guess my main thought is that yes, it’s completely natural and very much normal to breast feed; however, so is urinating and we do that in private.
As a disclaimer I’d like to say this blog is less about the specific Target story and more about breast feeding in public as a whole. I just don’t understand if there is a private location to utilize for breast feeding like a dressing room, bathroom, etc then why want to sit out in the open? I just don’t get it. Yes, it’s boring as heck to sit in a bathroom or dressing room for 30 minutes alone but at least you don’t risk accidentally exposing your breast when you are switching sides or force other non-breast feeding people to listen to the gulping and sucking noise from your child. I hope I don’t offend any publicly breast feeding mothers out there by having this opinion, but I JUST DON’T GET IT!!!!!!! I would never roll my eyes or gasp at the site of a woman breast feeding in public, but internally I “might” be. I remember being at Buy Buy Baby and watching a new mom walking up and down each aisle as she breast fed with absolutely no cover or anything with the bottom of her breast exposed. You better bet I was completely and utterly shocked especially since they have a room DEVOTED to nursing moms!
This isn’t the first “nurse-in” as similar stories have happened before and of all places, Whole Foods. So obviously this Texas Target patron and her 50 other comrades aren’t the only 51 people in the world to feel this way, but am I the only breast feeding mom that feels totally opposite? I’m not condoning eye rolls, dirty looks, etc, because that is wrong and unfair especially if there was literally nowhere else to breast feed. And I wasn’t at the Target when this happened so I don’t know all of the circumstances, I’m just going off of what I read in the media. For all I know, every bathroom stall was full and so was every dressing room. I just know for me, I’d breast feed in the car or stand in a restroom before I’d ever breast feed in a public place with complete strangers to look at me. But maybe I care too much about public perception/opinion.
So what are your thoughts? Do we have any breast feeding moms out there that did so in public and can shed some light on the situation? Or do you feel how I do, no way no how?
I agree completely with you! Now I have a nursing cover in my diaper bag should I ever need it, but it would be a last resort deal.
I understand your opinion and am not offended, but I was totally a public breastfeeder. But ONLY because I had to! We tried for weeks to try to get my son to take a bottle, it was like torture for him. He also would not take a pacifier. And he ate A LOT. Like every 2 hours for months! So I had to be available all the time to breastfeed whenever. I got sick of being in seclusion all the time, and I just wanted the freedom to feed my son when I needed. Of course I always covered up, but there were times when I had to do it at a restaurant or somewhere else. Eventually I just got the mindset of “I don’t care, I just want to feed my son”. It’s just exhausting when the boob is the ONLY option! Hopefully this next baby will take a bottle, but if not, I will still do it in public, because I don’t want to spend half my days sitting in a bathroom or dressing room for hours. I don’t hope to offend people, I just want to feed my babies.
You know you pretty much see boobs wherever you look these days…billboards, commercials, tv shows, magazines. I know, the entire nipple isn’t necessarily exposed, but the boobs are. I think nursing moms get a bad rap. I mean, are they supposed to stay home for 6 months, 9 months, or however long they choose to breast feed? When a mom is breastfeeding, choose to look in the other 350 degrees that are available. If they are comfortable enough to have their boob out, plopped into a babies mouth, then why should it bother us? I don’t think it should. As I society, we are over exposed to everything but for some reason, we just can’t come around to nursing moms. I just don’t get it. I say shame on those Target employees and more power to nursing moms. Now I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t plop my boob out in front of a Target audience but I certainly wouldn’t turn my nose up to some other Mom doing it. Sometime, you just have to make do with the circumstances you are dealt.
This blog was totally meant to discuss the various different opinions surrounding breast feeding in public since clearly it is a very debatable topic. In no way was it meant be offensive so it’s nice to hear that some of you are not. It’s been “heated” on Facebook. Nonetheless, my opinion is what it is… JUST an opinion and in no way do I think women shouldn’t be allowed to breast feed in public. The point was that it’s just not something I understand since I didn’t do it and not that other people are wrong for doing it.
I was like you, Lauren… completely and utterly bored and secluded when it was feeding time. And who knows, if I had managed to breast feed longer than 4 months I may have become so annoyed by the seclusion that I did breast feed at Olive Garden chewing on my lasagna!
Thanks for everyone’s input on this HOT topic!
You care too much about public perception/opinion. Nobody is watcing, nobody cares. Bathrooms are disgusting. Would you like to eat in a bathroom? I seriously doubt it.
I don’t know some of those bathrooms are pretty nice… have you ever been to the Nordstrom bathroom??? Kidding, I get your point 🙂
Nordstroms actually has a nice sitting area that I nursed in, I can’t remember exactly where it was, by the elevators somewhere, but not in the bathroom. Now that I’m thinking about it, that *may* have been where I was when a woman walked by and then came back, told me I was awesome and high fived me. I think I’ve nursed in almost ever restaurant in Austin and never had anyone say anything (negative) to me about it. One of the reasons I love this city!
Most businesses have built nice comfortable areas for Mom to breast feed so I believe that it’s best to use the comfort of the private room
Wow. Well I have to say I respect your right to your own personal feelings and inhabitions about breast feeding in public. That being said I will share mine.
First of all I found it offensive that you would compare emptying your bladder to …breastfeeding in the open! For real. Let’s remember we are FEEDING A CHILD. I breastfed in public. I was always descreet if possible. I felt most comfortable nursing in my car and or dressing room only because I sometimes had a hard time only using my arm to support my daughter, mostly due to a wonky back issue. It was always easier for me to sit while nursing. However there were many times that I nursed my daughter at restuarant table with a cover and sometimes without. After a while I found I could nurse without a cover and hardly exspose anything. My daughter always hated a cover over her head.
I think it makes people so uncomfortable because how sexualized our culture is. They see a boob and freak! Oh My Gosh look at that woman showing her breast!!! GASP. Really?? Why does it freak people out? That is what I don’t get. It’s so weird to me that such a thing would make anyone uncomfortable. Sure sometimes you may not be sure where to look because you don’t want to be “rude” by seemingly staring at someones breast. I find nursing a beautiful thing. It’s super cute. And what’s gross about a baby making suckling sounds? I have to see things and people I find absolutely disgusting all the time out in public. Such is life. The United States is practically the only place where this is even proposed as an issue.
To speak to the Target situation. Texas State Law states that any woman has a right to breastfeed publically anywhere that she has a right to be, like a Target. I had a card I carried around that states said law just in case. I NEVER had anyone say anything to me or look at me weird. I see breastfeeding mothers in public a lot and it makes me proud. It’s one of the best things that you can do for your baby!
Allison, I love this blog post because its interesting to hear others opinions on such a controversial issue. In my case with both boys, I was so modest! I couldnt allow anyone other than doctors, nurses or my husband to see that side of me. But as my career as a manager in a family owned business came into play, I began to throw those inhibitions to side in order to be effective as a mother and business women. I discovered “Udder Covers” and no one ever knew my business unless they pried. So I have mixed emotions on the topic. I am repulsed. Y a women who feels free to plop it own, no coverage in public
I usually had a cover of some sort over me. But after two months, I was a little more laxidasical about it to a degree. If you want to nurse in public I think you just have to realize it may make people uncomfortable. Just because we live in an over sexualized nation doesn’t mean the everyone wants to see your boobs with or without a suckling baby on it. Nurse on, ladies!
In response to the Nordstrom bathroom comment: Dont forget about Buccees! Their bathrooms are awesome!!