Strange title for the blog, right? Well, the question for the day is….can a child catch daddy issues from a mommy?
- Walkin’ Solo Down the Aisle
For the larger part of my life there hasn’t been a prominent male role model in my life. When I was born my parents were married, but they divorced at the age of 5 and my mom was single for the next 5ish years before marrying my step-dad, Michael. They divorced when I was 16 {thank God} and I’ve been a member of the absent-father club ever since. In fact, my dad was at my wedding and refused to walk me down the aisle because he knew he hadn’t done “his part” in making me the woman I am…pretty depressing. I know.
Moving on.
When looking for a life-mate, one thing I had on my list (you know the list they make you write when you’re in 6th grade going to a private Christian school) was someone that would be a great father and halleluiah I found him (He’s singing the ABCs with our darling daughter in the bath while I write this blog. Precious moments.)
Anyway, Matt and I recently got into a completely ridiculous spat about Facebook and he threw out the term daddy issues…it was more like “Don’t teach out daughter your daddy issues.” Before that can make sense let me tell you about our silly argument.
- It was Easter evening and Caroline was in bed and Matt and I were relaxing on the couch. He sliced a piece of Apple Pie and was sitting next to me. He whipped out his computer to update Facebook and started to type and SEND this. “Capping off the weekend with a little apple pie” and I was immediately annoyed. Why couldn’t he say “with my wife”? He WAS sitting next to me…I DID prepare an Easter basket for our daughter, I DID make arrangements for church and dinner and the list goes on and on about how awesome I am…why couldn’t I get a little FB shout out when I make a point to tag him every time we do something together. Well, he thought it was ridiculous (and needy and crazy) and said that I had daddy issues because people should assume that he is with his family or more specifically his wife on a Sunday evening at 9 pm. Whatever. Ultimately I got my way and this was published on Facebook for the world…err…his mom (she’s the only one that liked it)…to see!
Now…I certainly do not believe that I have daddy issues or that because I want my husband to give me a little Facebook love that I should make a therapy appointment for unresolved daddy issues. Interestingly enough, my mom and I were talking about it over the weekend and I concluded that I would be in the exact same place and be the exact same person had she stayed married to my father. But…that’s easier said than known, right? AND are alleged daddy issues contagious?
Do I treat Matt the way I do because of my upbringing or because of my personality or is it both and does growing up without a father automatically make you a candidate for having daddy issues? Why can’t I just have high expectations that are completely unrelated to not having a daddy? Eww I hate when older girls call their dads daddy…it grosses me out.
What are your thoughts? Will Caroline catch my alleged daddy issues? AND what relationship issues are going on in your house?
Intresting post Vanessa, my parents are divorced (although i have a semi/good relationship with my dad) I worry do my concerns about how my parents divorce will affect my parenting when i do become a mom.
Thanks for sharing, this very real situation!