I don’t know a single person that LOVES talking about finances and budgets. Whether with their spouse, friends, or parents most people probably have elevated blood pressure when talking about money. I know for me, I get antsy, annoyed, exasperated, bored, and really just need to have a glass of good wine (not the box kind) just to get me through the conversation.

Since Vanessa and I are super close, we talk about everything under the sun… nothing is off limits and money has its way of meandering into our conversations from time to time. Now this is going to seem way off topic, but I promise it ties into what I’m saying… I’m a huge fan of Mad Men! It’s been slightly boring this season, but that’s another story. I love Mad Men for multiple reasons, but one is the old fashion sense of the show. Now by no means do I want to be EXPECTED to go to bed after my husband and wake up prior to him just so he doesn’t have to see me makeup-less or be required to wear a dress of a nightgown to bed; however, I do love how in the show the men are in control of the big stuff, i.e. finances and work and the women are in control of the equally big stuff, the house and the children. Yes, I am extremely old fashion in that sense. I don’t ever want to touch a lawnmower or the garbage and I don’t want my husband in “MY” kitchen or holding a can of Pledge!

So going back to finances and Vanessa; since we do talk candidly and hang out weekly she has come to notice some things about the Mack’s finances and that is that I don’t have access to our main bank account where the majority of our money is located.  99.9% of the time I have very limited money in my account. {***After my husband read this blog he wanted me to add a disclaimer—I never know how much money is in my account, because I don’t use the I-Phone application to check my balance. Yes it’s true, which adds to the fact that I completely rely on my husband when it comes to finances.***} I have to call my husband if I’m going out to eat with friends, going to the grocery store, or buying a wedding/baby shower gift and have to ask him to transfer money into my bank account. And yes, he’s occasionally {just once} forgotten to make that transfer and my credit card was declined…talk about embarrassing and Wesley getting the wrath when I got home! After the occasion of my card being declined and another time we were in the car when I made my “call to Wesley for money”, Vanessa asked me, “doesn’t that bother you that you have no control over your money {it was something to that affect}? I mean it’s your money too…” Vanessa is a working girl and even if she weren’t a working girl she is still fiscally different than me and extremely independent. While I’m independent in my own right and a working girl in the home, I know my weakness’ in life and unfortunately a few of them are finances, money, and budget! I’m completely and utterly fiscally irresponsible!!! For example, if I know that I have “x” dollars in my bank account at my disposal I have zero problems going overboard… A little shopping here, extra groceries there, a stop at Starbucks, maybe a bite to eat, throw in a new DIY project from Pinterest and a shopping excursion to Hobby Lobby and I could easily spend all available dollars in my account. If I have a specific dollar amount in my account and a mission for the day I can tell Wesley exactly what I’m spending money on and how much I need and at the end of the day, there’s no money or budget “talk” between us, he’s not surprised, I’m not having to return things, and everyone is happy.

I know many marriages where the stay at home mom handles the finances, the working mom handles the finances, and vice avers. Wesley and I know what works for us and by no means is he trying to stifle me in life with monetary things, but I just have to plan for it, ask for it, and make sure it’s in the “budget”. At the end of the day I VERY RARELY don’t get what I want or go without so really it’s a win/win. I don’t have the burden of a budget on my hands and I still get the “things” in life that my family needs as well as the things I just have to have {insert, Kendra Scott and Nordstrom}!

***A second disclaimer my husband wanted me to add: I basically have an unlimited prepaid debit card… clearly someone has a complex about today’s topic :)***

So what kind of mom are you? Are you a single mom doing it all and paying it all, a working mom giving the reins to your hubs, a stay at home mom whose husband never sees his paycheck and relies on you to handle the finances, or like me with zero dollars in your bank account having to ask for money? Call me old fashion, but that’s how I like it!


  1. I know families that handle finances separately and together, or one sided…whatever works for you. I am a little more (or a lot more) on Vanessa’s side though. It was a deal breaker that my husband and I have a joint account and I have full access to everything. For me it is all about trusting the other person with everything, I know some don’t view it that way. Regardless of the fact that I am a stay at home mom and my hubby brings in all of the money I pay all of the bills and manage our accounts and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He doesn’t view his paycheck at his either, he will say “I deposited OUR check” or “WE have x amount in savings/checking”.
    We also balance each other out on spending, we can both get debit card happy…but we seem to do it at opposite times. We also do not have one single credit card, so whatever we do buy comes straight out of our checking. It makes things easier for us and we hold each other accountable.


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