I have so many friends that either just had a baby or are about to have one. {my BFF is about to pop literally any second :)} It got me thinking about visiting a new mama in the hospital after the birth of a baby. I definitely think there is some etiquette and rules, but is it common knowledge? I vividly remember many people stepping on my toes and over staying their welcome when I was in the hospital after having each of my babies….and have had many friends say the same thing. Are you guilty? After asking our lovely Austin Moms Blog mamas their thoughts, we have this list:
- First and foremost, always make sure that you are welcome and that it is a good time. NEVER show up unannounced.
- Never stay longer than 20 minutes.
- Wash your hands immediately after walking into the room.
- Always bring whoever is in the room coffee and/or treats. New mama may not be able to have coffee, but dad sure can and he most likely is in dire need. 😉 The tired new mama may enjoy some non caffeinated soothing hot tea however. Who doesn’t love tasty treats from a yummy bakery?!
- Don’t bring your kids with you, new parents (even if it isn’t first time parents) will be extra cautious about germs.
- If you get baby a gift and there is an older sibling, get the sibling a small gift too. It is important they feel extra special during that time.
- May be a good idea to save any gifts until the new parents get home, so they have less to pack up. It gets over whelming.
- If no one has set up a meal calendar for the new parents then offer to start one.
- If it is feeding or pumping time politely get your butt on out of that room!
- Do not post info or pics on Facebook or Instagram, etc. unless you know you have the parents consent first.
- Always ask before snapping pictures. Mama is tired and may not feel her best or prettiest.
- Bes tot visit on day 2. Day 1 is for family and day 3 is too chaotic trying to pack up to go home.
- One AMB mama says just flat out don’t visit at the hospital unless you will be out of town for a few weeks, wait and visit the family at home.
Almost all of us AMB mamas were on the same page with our thoughts on what to do and not do when visiting a mama and new babe at the hospital {or birthing center, or at home for home births for that matter}. I had many people break each one of the things on this list between all 3 of my hospitals stays. One person stayed for HOURS and never offered to leave when it was time to breastfeed, one person showed up at 9PM {insert major irritation!!!}, one person tried to take baby out of my arms without asking to hold him {said person’s life almost in jeopardy}, some didn’t wash hands, some brought kids, the list goes on. I swore after having our 3rd that if we had another baby I would email a list of rules for visiting us post delivery because we were always too tired and scatter brained to think about it at the time. Some good friends planned ahead and told all family and friends when their visiting hours were…and it was between 3-7pm. I thought that was a great idea! And while I did have my fair share of irritations in the hospital I also had some friends surprise us with some great things. One very close friend in particular brought us a box of Tiff’s Treats cookies with a variety of milk, a stack of magazines, and a gift card for a post-pregnancy massage at Milk and Honey. Score!
What are some other rules you had or would have? What rules did people break when you delivered?
A big one for me was DON’T BRING YOUR KIDS! I didn’t mind those I was really close to especially if I knew they would be cautious. One friend had her kiddo sit down on the couch away from us with hands washed only to observe. When she asked to hold the baby her mom was kind enough to chime in with a “when she’s older sweetie, but not now”.