My husband has always said that motherhood is the most competitive sport out there, and in a lot of cases he is right. We compete with ourselves and others all the time, sometimes without realizing it. We think our ways are best, it is nature. Are we all guilty of it at some point or another…..yes. Oh come on, be honest, you know you have and if you say you haven’t I am not sure anyone would believe you. I will be very honest and say that I try to not judge and if I do it is for something pretty extreme that I think anyone would judge for, it isn’t the small things that don’t matter. All the competition and judging puts us against one another when we really need to be sticking together because let’s be honest, this motherhood thing is hard. It is the best, but oh so difficult at times.
Don’t judge a mom if she:
- is a total food snob and buys organic, non-gmo, natural foods {guilty…although my kids still eat typical kid junk food on occasion} or if a mom sends Smuckers pre made pb&j’s, a Little Debbie snack cake, bag of chips, and a soda in their lunch everyday. That mom may be working two jobs to get by and the kid may be making their own lunch and that’s just what works for them.
- if she let’s her kids watch too much TV and you are anti TV
- is a working mom….or a stay at home mom. I know women that thrive on each for many different reasons and they are better mothers for their choices. I have had working moms say they admire me for being able to handle being a stay at home mom, I pay them the same compliment for being able to juggle the fam and job because I think I would be a terrible working mom. Kuddos to us all!
- bathes her kids nightly or just skips it every now and then and maybe even forgets to brush their teeth.
- fully vaccinates her kids, follows an alternative schedule, or is completely anti-vaccine because which ever choice she makes whether you agree with or not she made with the intent of protecting her child.
- is over the top crafty or if she doesn’t know what a glue gun is and hasn’t ever been to Hobby Lobby.
- looks completely put together with a cute outfit and accessories every day…or she lives in her workout gear without make up (& possibly a shower).
- drives a mini van vs. a gas guzzling giant SUV {ahem…let’s just say my car isn’t exactly considered environmentally friendly}
- chooses to homeschool, use public schools, or pays for private school.
- is too over-protective.
- is single.
- is poor.
- wants a house full of kids…..or just one.
- has a clean house. Or doesn’t.
- seems like she has it all together all the time. She may have it together and be on top of her game, but not all the time….none of us have it together 100% of the time.
- hides in the pantry to sneak the special stash of chocolate that no one knows about. {uhhhh….I am 100% guilty}
- breastfeeds…or uses formula….or makes her own formula.
- has a home birth, or uses a birthing center, or a hospital.
- has a nanny.
- let’s her kids dress themselves in wacky outfits. {My 2 youngest have always loved picking out their outfits and are both famous for wearing their cowboy boots with shorts…along with random mix matched clothes. It drives my anal retentive side a little nutty from time to time but they are happy so whatevs.}
This list could really go on and on, but the point is that it is so easy to get caught up in what someone else is or isn’t doing that we lose sight of our own lives and what is important. At the end of each day what matters is that we were the best mama we could be to our precious little one(s), that is the number 1 job we have. If we are truly doing the best we can, however that looks to each of us, we are awesome. We can’t walk in anyone else’s shoes except our own and every mama makes her choices for a reason even though we may not understand them. What we need is for us to all stick together and be supportive of one another. A lot of my friends and I have different opinions on many topics regarding parenting and I love when we have discussions about it and walk away at the end of the conversation just appreciating the other for who they are.
Be honest…..what are you the most judgmental about or what have you been judged about?
Ashlee, love this article. I have a 6 months old baby boy. Being a mom, I just observe other mothers to take advice and learn from them. But I always try not to judge. Many times mothers do what others don’t understand to cope with any situation that we are not aware of. All of us are a mix of all in different portions.