Marianne shared her story this morning about struggling with infertility. There was light at the end of the tunnel when she learned a surrogate was her only hope in having a biological child. Today Marianne shares her journey with surrogacy.
This is Marianne’s Success Story.
After 5 years of testing and failed fertility treatments we found out that the only way we could have a biological child would be to use a gestational carrier. Hmmm, didn’t see that one coming! After much soul-searching and therapy I found my surrogate through an agency {www.surrogatesolutions.net} and fell head over heels in love. She was me just 15 years younger and with a good uterus. Our surrogate, her amazing husband, and two precious girls have brought so much joy to our lives. I truly could not have asked for a better family to go through this journey with. We went to the fertility clinic for testing with her husband and I remember him saying with tears in his eyes “I just want to see your husband holding his baby.” Everyone now – awwwww. They were a dream come true in every way.
So, we all loved each other. Now to make a baby! The first attempt did not work. We quickly did another IVF (I was 40 by this time) and the embryos looked terrible and were given a 5% chance of success. Against all odds, this one worked!!! SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH OUR BABY! We texted a million times a day. She taught me about emoticons and we had so much fun joking around about work, family, friends, etc. I was closer to her than basically anyone in my life at the time. We had a blast.
My son is now 2 ½ years old and is a spitfire, but for the first 6 months I cried daily that I was actually a mother of a beautiful child with my hazel eyes and curly hair. I had given up on that fantasy and here he was. I cried at music class, I cried at the baby store, I cried changing his diaper. Now we just laugh at him and cannot imagine our life without this magnificent creature in it. And the icing on the cake is that we are still very close to our surrogate, Krystal, and her family. She and her entire family are and will always be a part of our family.
If you need to use a surrogate – here are a few things to consider…
- Find a reputable agency – you do not want to do this independently
- Go with a local agency and someone you feel you can trust – bigger is not always better
- Find a surrogate who has a good support network in case she goes on bed rest for any reason
- Be sure her medical records are checked before you meet with her – surprises after you love her are no bueno!
- Make sure your personalities mesh – you are going to be close, very close
- Make sure your values and plans are the same – would you want the option to terminate if there were any major chromosomal abnormalities, would you want the option to reduce if there were multiple fetuses such as 3 or 4
- Be prepared that you will be grateful to her and jealous at the same time. She is still doing something you could not do and some days that will hurt
- Meet her husband if she is married. He will provide support or could make problems. He needs to be on board
- Get support – RESOLVE is a wonderful organization that has support groups here in Austin and throughout the country. This is a tough road on your own. Therapy is great, too.
If you are considering being a surrogate – look at the above information and I would add the following points…
- Be prepared to go on a number of appointments in the beginning – you will need to be flexible
- Be prepared to give yourself shots. Not all fertility clinics require them, but many do.
- Be prepared to abstain from sex at the beginning of the process
- Be patient with your intended parents – they most likely have been through hell to get there and often are out of hope
- BE PREPARED FOR THE MOST WONDERFUL FEELING OF YOUR LIFE! You grew this beautiful baby for someone who could not do it themselves. You helped create a family!
This amazing experience is what led me to Surrogate Solutions and Gayle East. Gayle is the owner of what I believe is the best surrogacy agency in Texas. She is a former RN, surrogate, and one of the kindest and most compassionate people I have ever met. I fell in love with my experience so much that I am now on their team! We are here for anyone who would like to discuss USING a surrogate or NEEDING a surrogate.
For more information as an intended parent or as a surrogate mother, please contact us at [email protected] or view our website at www.surrogatesolutions.net.
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, it is our hope to raise awareness and educate our community about the varying types of infertility and the many options available. We hope that you our empowered by this series, because we really are in this journey of motherhood together. Please continue to support the real moms this week as they share their journeys. To read more, please click here.
Sponsored By: Surrogate Solutions
