Did your pregnancy go as planned? Today we have one of our former AMB Contributors sharing her journey!

I am a control freak. I admit it. Actually, I embrace it. I like to think it adds to my charm. When I didn’t get pregnant the first time my husband and I tried, my world was rocked. I did what I was supposed to do. I took my temperature and charted all sorts of unmentionable things for months, we did what we were supposed to do when we were supposed to do it. Alas, nada. No baby. Just another period. I wasn’t sure how to react. 

Let me back up a little bit. Before Hubs and I first tried to make a baby, we planned for the baby. We made sure we were in a good financial position. We made sure we were both happy in our jobs. I saved up vacation days for maternity leave. I read books on fertility. I am a planner. I wanted to have all of our ducks in a row. And, when we finally reached that point, we decided we would try to make a kid. See, I have a need for control.

Almost all of my friends had gotten pregnant the first time they tried. None had taken more than a few months. I kept hearing from everyone that it is completely normal for a couple to try up to a year before finally conceiving. Whatever. I just knew it would happen quickly for us. We were healthy and only 31 years old. I had read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I charted for months before we tried to conceive. I was pretty darn sure that I was ovulating. Everything was good. So, we tried.

And, nothing happened. It was awful. After several months, trying to conceive went from exciting to torturous. It was work. Some months I used ovulation predictor kits (OPKs). I took early pregnancy test after early pregnancy test. I peed on so many sticks. It really sucked. About 8 cycles into the process, I threw out all of my charts and stopped taking my temperature. I stopped buying OPKs. I thought I would just stop stressing about it. The problem was that I couldn’t let it all go. The pressure to conceive was looming. I tried to control my body, and I couldn’t. And, freaking Facebook. I almost had to give up my Facebook addiction. Every time I logged on (which was often), another friend was announcing her pregnancy. Seriously, every woman I knew was pregnant.

I needed to relax. I tried to think about other things, but I couldn’t.  I started to think something was wrong with me. Then, I started to think something was wrong with Hubs. I was angry and frustrated. Why couldn’t we make a baby?

After about 10 cycles with no positive pee test, I decided to make an appointment with a fertility specialist. I knew Hubs and I would not use fertility treatments to conceive (this had been decided long ago), but I wanted to know whether or not our bodies were in decent working order. I wanted to discuss fertility testing. I made the appointment. Knowing I would find out if our parts were working made the pressure and stress I was carrying slowly disappear. I finally let go of some of my frustration. I decided to enjoy my life instead of being angry that I wasn’t pregnant. I started Crossfit. Hubs and I went camping in Big Bend for our anniversary. We went on vacation with our friends.  We enjoyed life as the two of us. I still wasn’t pregnant, but I was OK with that. During this time, I promised Hubs that I wouldn’t take anymore pregnancy tests. He hated seeing me so upset every time they came back negative. So, I promised.

A week before our appointment with the fertility doc, I broke my promise to Hubs. I just had to know. It was my twelfth cycle since we started trying. I picked up a test on my way home from the gym. I didn’t tell Hubs I was taking it. I fully expected it to come back negative again. It didn’t. It came back positive. I sat in my bathroom alone for a few minutes. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t even move. Finally, after several minutes, I got up and walked into the living room to share the good news with Hubs. I was finally pregnant.

After months and months of disappointment and heartache, I was finally pregnant. My story ends with the birth of my amazing little boy.

I know my story is not unique. I recognize there are couples who have tried for years to have children. I just wanted to share my story for the women out there who only read the negative or scary stories online. Sometimes, it just takes a while to conceive.

How long did it take you to conceive? If you haven’t been able to conceive, have you considered fertility testing and fertility treatments?