There are so many mommy wars going on — ALL of which are unnecessary.


Stop the Mommy Wars, Austin Moms Blog

The worst of it — Working Moms vs. Stay at Home Moms.  But there are others just about parenting in general — the types of punishment used for children, the types of foods we give to our kids, the activities (or lack there of) that our kids are in, the number of presents they get for their birthdays or other holidays, how much television they watch, whether they own their own electronics or how often they are allowed to use them, whether they do the chores or if they should get paid for them … I could go ON AND ON.

It’s ridiculous the amount of judgment we place on other families simply because they do things differently.

But this one is new — and I’m not sure I think it’s helping the mommy wars, or hurting them.  The 4th Trimester Bodies Project.  Ever heard of it? I’m a photographer and I absolutely LOVE capturing real life — and I love that the project exists (in general) because women shouldn’t be judged for their bodies after they have children (or during pregnancy, or at all, for that matter).

On the one hand, I love that so many women are comfortable with their bodies enough to take photographs of their 4th trimester bodies — because ALL of the women on this website are beautiful.  I love that they aren’t photo-shopped.  *** I want that to be clear before I keep writing ***  I don’t care if you bounce back to a six pack with lean legs or whether you have extra skin and flab all over.

You grew a baby and therefore you are awesome.  You birthed a baby and therefore you are awesome.

But I wonder — or I worry — that it’s just ONE more thing to judge for us mommies each other on.  Oh, you didn’t lose all your baby weight in the first five minutes? You must not care about your body! You should have lost your weight by now!  If you stopped eating junk, you’d lose that weight! Or, you got lean right away that must mean that you care more about your body than your children.  You workout how much?  Your children aren’t your priority!  You would have been able to breastfed longer if you look it seriously and stopped exercising so much?  Why are you so obsessed with your body?  Haven’t you heard the nine months up, nine months down rule?  You have time!  Don’t be so obsessed!!

Why can’t we all just leave each other alone?  Why can’t we each get pregnant the way we can?  And birth the way we want?  And lose weight how we want? And parent the way want? When did this superiority complex start? Or the judgment?  Can’t we all see that we are doing the best we can? That we are all awesome?  That there is no need to judge anyone?

Why oh why is this so darn hard? Do you struggle with the Mommy Wars?




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