I distinctly remember being nominated to call my sister {after her first miscarriage} to tell her that our younger cousin was pregnant. My parents thought she’d handle the news better from me. After prepping her husband for how I was going to tell my sister, my sister grabbed the phone and said, “You’d better not be pregnant.” Five kids between the two of us later, we can laugh about that, but pregnancy is a tricky business. You have to be prepared to, A) Get pregnant the first time you try, all the way to, Z) Never get pregnant. All the while others in your life will also be starting families.

So how do you deal with pregnancy envy?

It doesn’t matter why you aren’t pregnant. All that matters is that everyone else is. I think most women have been there. Whether from infertility, pregnancy loss, time, circumstances, money, difference of opinion with your spouse {hey, honey, talking to you}…the list goes on and on. I know I’m at an age where every time I turn around someone is announcing they are pregnant and while part of you is ecstatic for them, another part is sad that it isn’t your announcement.

I don’t think there’s a wrong or a right way to deal with pregnancy envy, but here are some things that might help.

1. Humor. My sister dealt {after her second miscarriage} with a newfound love of Mexican martinis. She figured if she couldn’t drink while pregnant, she’d get her fill in until she couldn’t. After each disappointment, she’d cry and then say ‘Well, at least I get to drink Mexican martinis for another month.’ You couldn’t fault her logic.

2. Anger. Get mad. Scream. Break something. Being angry is healthy – just be careful who you direct that anger towards!

3. Talking to someone. I am a big proponent of therapy. You don’t necessarily have to go to therapy to deal with pregnancy envy, but I think getting those feelings out in the open can be extremely helpful so find a friend or a family member that you trust to open up to.

4. Fake it until you make it. I have used this mantra many times {most recently for post-partum}. If you fake happiness long enough, eventually you WILL feel happy.

5. TRY to enjoy life. It’s hard to enjoy what you have when you want something else SO badly. Life will be so different once you do someday have your little bundle, so try and think of all the things you can do now that you won’t be able to do soon. Sleep in! Take a spontaneous trip! Spend money frivolously!

6. Find a new hobby. Ever wanted to learn to paint or play guitar? This might just help you find something to be passionate about even after you do get pregnant.

7. Get educated. There’s no time like the present to learn everything you can about being a mom. Pregnancy, labor & delivery, newborn care… That way when you are pregnant, you already have done the homework and can just bask in your pregnancy glow!

8. Volunteer. You know the old saying, “A watched pot never boils”? Well, perhaps spending your extra time volunteering for a program or cause that you support will help you redirect your thoughts and take your feelings from envy to empathy.

9. Get to Pinning. Pinterest doesn’t have to be a daily reminder that we’re procrastinators. Instead, try to knock some things off your pinterest board by doing them. Make a DIY gift for your preggo friend, pin photos of a nursery you want, attempt painting that chevron wall and don’t be scared of chalk painting that old dresser. Creative people create life.

10. Send a “Congratulations” card. Since the dawn of Facebook people forget how meaningful a handwritten card can be. It can also be therapeutic to share in someone else’s joy so go ahead and congratulate them on their new baby.

:: Have you ever had pregnancy envy? ::