I have recently been going back and forth with my husband and myself about having 2 or 3 children.
We only have 1, but if we decide to have only 2, then I would like to space them out a bit. I’d love to share what’s going through my mind, and hear your thoughts!
A big reason why my husband and I are contemplating only having 2 is because financially it would be easier. Now you officially think I’m the worst mom in the world, and that I have no heart. Well, I do have a heart, and I do love kids. My husband and I aren’t loaded, we are middle class and work our butts off to live a comfortable life. I have always been a very contemplative person, and I do not make rash decisions.
I weigh the pros and cons, imagine how it’s going to impact my life currently and in the future. I’ve always imagined having 3 children (I have 2 siblings), but now I can imagine what life would be like with just two.
- Could we travel more?
- Would I be able to pay for BOTH of their college education so they don’t have any debt when they graduate?
- Could we keep our smaller vehicles because we don’t have to have a 3rd row (That’s my husband’s biggest argument)?
The U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates it will cost a middle-income household $245,000 to raise a child born in 2013 to the age of 18.
The other side to the argument is…you make it work. Have 3 kids and make the sacrifices you need to make to have a family of 5. You may not be able to go on extravagant vacations or pay for their education in full, but your hearts will be full of love.
I totally see this side of it as well. My sister has 5 girls, and each one of them is so extremely unique and different, and my fear is that I’m going to miss out on an insanely amazing human being like my son. I also think having a larger family to go home to during the holidays is wonderful, and more grandkids (I’m too young to be thinking about grandkids…geez)!
I’m not sure what our decision will be as a family, but I hope the Lord gives me peace with whatever decision we make. Maybe we’ll have 2, and then we’ll get baby fever years down the road and decide to have another (I was born 6 years after my brother and sis who are only 18 months apart). So who knows, but I know that we will follow our hearts whatever decision that may be.
We have chosen to have 3 kids (we have two and baby #3 is on the way). We definitely now talk about how we will have to manage finances and college funds but we just think we will make it work. We also love a full loud house and yes, too young to think about grandkids but I do the same. I was once told “you will never regret the children you have, only wonder about the ones you didn’t have”. Are we done at 3? Not sure yet. Are we wealthy and can easily afford to send a bunch of kids to college, not right now? nope, but we hope to make smart decisions and have smart kids (some scholarships please?) and we will make it work.
We are constantly debating this topic in our house as well. We already have 2 and would like a 3rd. We pause for the same exact reasons! You are not alone at all! I do know, however, that I could not handle a 3rd right now. My kids are 2.5 years apart and my little one will be 2 next month. I completely get why sometimes there are large gaps of time between #2 and #3. The logistics would just be impossible right now!
My husband and I went back and forth for quite some time about this and arrived at 3. Our first 2 are extremely close together in age (11 months). We are just surfacing from the craziest year of our lives so far. All of these things you’ve talked about we’ve considered. Kids are expensive (and we are not rolling in cash). And life is predictably unpredictable. God is constant. He will give you peace one way or the other. I’m due with #3 next summer. Bring on the crazy!!
We have three kiddos without the 3rd row in the vehicle. I wish for it on some days, but it can be done 🙂 It’s a Toyota Rav4.
I completely understand. I think the same way. I only have one child (as of now). She’s almost two years old. My husband and I have been going back and forth about whether or not to have another child. Financially, one child seems do-able. Yet, we wonder how being the only child will effect her. My husband is an only child and he has no qualms about that. It’s a tough decision and I have no idea where I stand. I feel that if I’m doubting the idea then it might not be the best time. We are going to wait and see how we feel on a couple years.
Our one and only son was born 10/14/12, so very close to your little one! Here you struggle with idea of having 3 while I am currently struggling with having 2! The first was with no planning what so ever; my husband and I were planning out baby before we were married. Madly in love, he is Scottish and I am born and raised in Michigan. But love conquered and without a second thought poof we were prego and married:) now, almost 3 years later we go back and forth w having another. Trying to purchase our first home big enough, trying to plan financially for our first in Montessori and the second w a nanny. The extra diapers and money that accompanies babies. But reading your post and thinking back, I wonder if it’s even worth being prepared?? Lol. We made it work the first go round, I mean that’s what you do, right? We say we can’t afford a second, but we would make it happen if need be. Maybe planning is over rated. Don’t “they” say your never ready anyways?:)