The other day I was sitting in my car waiting for the right time to get out and pick up my kids from preschool.  I watched as other moms arrived and walked towards the school. 

As I watched these hip, pretty, young women walk in slow motion, hair flowing, white sparkling smiles glimmering in the sun I felt somehow different. Even though some were wearing the “not-so-flattering on this mama’s body” yoga pants or work out shorts, they somehow managed to look like they were about to do an athletic photo shoot. That is when I came to a realization…I’m getting old.

Here are 8 signs that may prove I am no spring chicken…

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     1. I spend way too much time covering my gray hair (because that’s the only part that shows I’m old, right?)

I used to only color my hair once a year to hide a few grays here and there. Then it moved up to twice a year, then 4 months, then 3. Now if I don’t cover that big gray streak on the side of my head every month, it looks like I haven’t done it in a year. Those suckers grow FAST! They are even getting to the point of mocking me as a few of them have managed to become immune to the every type of dye. Damn you stubborn hair!

     2. I don’t want to let my kids stop napping because then when would I nap?

I plan to implement nap time for the rest of their lives. Well, as long as they live at home. They don’t have to continue to nap themselves, but this old lady needs her nap and I intend to get it. I have a friend who has four kids and they have a “quiet hour” every day.  That means the kids go to their rooms for an hour and read, write, color or do any quiet activity for an hour if they don’t want to nap.  I like that idea a lot! I know she probably uses that hour to be productive, but I will use it to nap.  I love naps. I have always loved naps. I napped as a kid, in college and even napped at lunch time during work. Maybe you saw me, I was the one passed out in a parked car or by the pool in business clothes when my office was in a hotel. Man, those were the best naps. I can use one of those now…

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     3. When people ask me to go out at night for an event with the hubs or a moms night out I cringe.

It’s been forever since I’ve gone out at night. In fact, would I even be able to drive in the dark anymore? I may be becoming a hermit-by-night, I’m not sure. All I know is that if something is happening after sunset and it is in the city, you probably won’t see me there. Now that I have begun this crazy blogging journey, I have heard that I may have to become a tiny bit more social, gulp. Just don’t expect to see me back on 6th Street having a Breakfast Shot.  Wait, I think I just aged myself again. Anyways, I would so much rather stay home and have a nice quiet evening with my love and catch a show or two on TV while I quietly crochet.  Or if we are feeling spunky, we may occasionally try a tasty adult beverage or two and maybe some nachos. Glamorous, I know. We are quite the fancy couple.

     4. I do not have the patience for kids’ movies.

There is just something about made-for-children entertainment that loses me. Which is really awful since that is my future. Don’t get me wrong, there are good kid’s movies today like “Rio” and “Rio 2” that I approve of. I really haven’t taken the time to watch more than that to see if I like them. I honestly rely on other mom’s reviews for that. I avoided the “Frozen” craze simply because other mothers told me how obsessed their kids (boys and girls) became with the movie. (I don’t think I’m ready for those songs to become part of my kids’ repertoire.) If the mothers that I trust feel there are scenes that are not suitable for kids or are annoyed by the language or even the voices, I am probably not even going to bother with them.  I can’t do the squeaky or high pitched voices: they drive me insane.  I can’t stand mean characters or even a little violence being thrown at kids’ faces. Also, I can’t stand and will never find funny the bodily function jokes. (Why are they even there? What is the point?) So, instead, I will show them fun movies from a simpler time. Happy viewing makes happy people. Sometimes being old is a good thing; it gives you a broader point of reference.

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     5. I get along with my friends’ moms a little too well.

True story, I went to a play date at my friend’s mom’s house and spent way too much time talking to the mom about musicals and crocheting. Wait? What? Those are my topics of interest now?  At one point I looked over at my friend and saw that she had stopped listening, who knows when, and was checking her phone instead. Sorry, Mary.

Not that there is anything wrong with musicals. In fact, I think they are the greatest things ever made! I grew up with them and I am pretty well adjusted (most of the time). I love being able to share them with my boys. They like them, too. They can sing you any song from “The Music Man”, “Singing in the Rain”, “Mary Poppins”, “Hans Christian Anderson”, “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” and countless others. We watch at least a song from one of my many favorites every day. And I think that is awesome! We even have the “Music Man” soundtrack in both cars. Oh and how it drives my husband crazy!

And crocheting? Well, that is a great way to unwind and relax after running around all day. Can’t knock that, no matter how old it may make me look. Besides that, I heard it was the thing to do these days. But I wouldn’t know, I think I lost my subscription to the hip and happening newsletter.

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     6. When I walk by the popular stores I feel so awkward.

Stores with words in their titles like young, 21, sass, girl or sexy in their name make me cower. It almost feels like I have to walk with my head down because I am pretty sure I’ll be laughed at if I so much as glance their way. The mannequin’s’ waists are the size of my wrist, the clothes don’t come close to covering nearly ½ of what I KNOW I need to cover and the people that work there look like they are 12. There is no way that they can help me find something suitable for my, uhm, shape. That reminds me, I probably need to donate some super cute Forever 21 outfits that I will NEVER fit into again in this lifetime.
   

     7. Weight loss is SO MUCH HARDER

I have plenty of young mom friends that can go for a walk around Town Lake once and lose 10 pounds while I have been trying to lose the “baby fat” for 4 years.  I have dieted and exercised, fasted and cleansed and even hoped for a stomach bug. But, alas, the progress is so slow. I am getting there, though; it just seems to take so long. Perhaps the problem is not really baby fat any more, more like the thousands of pregnancy ice cream Sundays and late night nachos…yummy cheesy, jalapeño-y, crispy and covered in salsa nachos…Again with the nachos?

     8. I feel like I’m in my twenties…ONLY in my head.

I get urges to do things with my kids like jump and climb the way they do because I just think I can. I sometimes think I can try some hardcore exercises because they don’t look that hard. I sometimes think I can eat the nastiest and greasiest food that I loved in college because it looks so tasty. There are times when I think I can survive on a couple of hours of sleep because I was a pro at that once. Then, reality slaps me in the face. I am not agile, flexible or have an amazing metabolism, my digestion is, well, trying to keep up and I lack the ability to hide the fact that I am worn out.

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Even if I see myself as I once was when I sleep, I always wake up and look in the mirror to see someone that looks like me, just a bit older. And sometimes I see a current picture of myself and instead of thinking, “Damn, I look good” I think “Damn, I thought I looked better than that”. But it all comes with age. Other than these hard to swallow lovely flaws, I would not change my life for anything. I love my family and my friends. I also love being able to vent to you, so thank you for that. I will learn to live with this and prosper even if I am no spring chicken after all. Now, where are those nachos?

 Have you noticed any changes in yourself that sometimes make you feel a bit older than you would like to?

 

 

Malu Talan
Hola! I am Malu. I am a UT graduated bilingual mama raising two energetic boys who love with ALL of their heart. They are my greatest teachers and they make me try to be a better person even when I am not ready. I have been married to the love of my life since 2006 and can’t wait for FOREVER more. He is my rock, my sanity and makes me feel beautiful even in my worst days. I run the Family Events Calendar for AMB and have been part of this amazing team since 2014. I love how AMB lets mamas from all over Austin share their vision, their humor, their frustrations and whatever other stories they like to tell in this platform. It is a much needed safe space for mamas navigating this wild ride we are on. When I am not being mama or finding family events, my side hustles include searching for fun ways to help my boys love languages, writing silly picture books, running my own Rodan and Fields biz, helping out at their school when I can and getting my kids excited about it all!!

3 COMMENTS

  1. I felt old when my 23-year-old intern told me they were 3 when Pulp Fiction came out. Seeing that movie was one of the first dates I went on with my husband.
    Now I want nachos.

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