Austin Moms Blog | I'm Not the Mom I Thought I Would Be

From a very young age, my greatest desire in life was to get married and have babies.  That wonderful dream has come true.

I have been greatly blessed with a loving husband and a joy filled son who is about to turn two!  TWO!  As I look back on the last few years, my first instinct is to laugh.  If someone would have told me what my life would be like as a mom I would never have believed them.

This week I have scooped poop out of the bathtub with my bare hands, sucked snot out of my son’s nose (thank you Nose Frida), nursed my sick son every time he has asked even though we were attempting to wean, made a morning run for donut holes, allowed my son to sleep next to me every night, watched way too many episodes of Thomas the Train…. and the list goes on!

Austin Moms Blog | I'm Not the Mom I Thought I Would Be

I could name a million things I have done over the last two years that I swore I would NEVER do.  I know the research behind too much screen time but when those bright blue eyes ask with such joy to watch “choo choo”, how could I ever say no?!  I know the negative side to co-sleeping but the deep sound of my son breathing inches from my face is the most soothing sound.  And sugar.  Well, I do try to limit sugar but when my sweet boy has been sick and I know a donut will bring him joy, then he gets to indulge!

I may not be the mom I thought I would be but I also had no idea how my son would infiltrate my heart and soul.  I had no idea how such a small human could have such an affect on me.  I knew I would love my son but it goes way beyond that.  The way his small voice brightens my day is indescribable and at times takes my breath away.

Reflecting on the past two years is emotional.  Our lives have changed so much.  Let’s be honest, I have changed the most.  I am still my type-a, slightly OCD self in most areas, but not with my son.  I have seen how fast the days fly by.  I have watched him grow up into a little boy and I know he will soon be a man.  I am not willing to let that time pass by me without enjoying every single minute.  

The bottom line is, I have done my best and I will continue to do better.  I will make mistakes and some days will feel defeating.  But the greatest gift I can give my son is the best of me.  So I will brush it off, apologize, learn from my mistakes, and try again.  Before I became a mom I always thought of life as black and white.  I now know that life is gray… and blue, and purple, and yellow, and orange….

Let’s just say that….  We will go with the flow… and take one day at a time.  We will always remember that tomorrow is a new day… You can always say I’m sorry and moderation is the key to life, even when it comes to donuts!
Austin Moms Blog | I'm Not the Mom I Thought I Would Be

 Photo Credit :: Shannon Vandivier 


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