Blooper #1
It was late August. I was three days post-partum, nursing my child in the parking lot of her pediatrician’s office. Our appointment was at 9:45 and as I looked at the clock, it read 9:57. We were late! I sat in the back seat of my car, hot and bloated from childbirth, flyaway hairs tickling my forehead. I looked at my tiny daughter and my green Breastfriend, took a deep breath and thought, Geez, will this ever be better? Will I ever have it figured out? Will I ever walk out of the house effortlessly again?
She finished nursing, I adjusted my clothing and I laid her in her infant car seat. I walked around the car to unclip her car seat…to unclip her car seat…to unclip her car seat. “How the hec do you unclip this car seat?” I toggled and pushed down buttons, wiggled and jiggled the car seat from the base and nothing! Sweat dripped from my brow and frustration rose through my face. I was a 31 year old new mom and I couldn’t even figure out how to get the car seat unclipped. How was I going to manage the rest?!
Thankfully, my Mom was with me and she helped. I walked away from the car and headed into the pediatrician’s office. I juggled my daughter, her huge diaper bag and filled out new patient paperwork then my Mom walked through the front doors with the infant car seat in tow. “You Tube! I You Tubed it! The lever is in back!”
“There’s a lever?!” I’ll be damned.
Blooper #45
Two weeks into mama hood I knew that I didn’t know anything, and I didn’t pretend to know. Since I was focused on — you know – survival… I couldn’t have been bothered to learn how to manipulate our stroller. So anytime my newborn and I left the house I loaded the stroller into the back of my car fully erect. It took up the entire back part of the car!
I traveled from parking lot to parking lot and ran errands with a fully set up stroller in back! Hopefully folks got good laughs out of it!
Blooper #213
Three months into mama hood my husband and I headed out for our first date night post baby. I was thrilled to be going out with my handsome husband. I looked forward to eating a lovely dinner, and enjoying each other’s company during AND after dinner if you know what I mean!
Since I wanted to look my best, the morning of our date night I applied bronzer, EVERYWHERE. I knew I felt better sun kissed so I followed the self-tanner instructions and went about my day. I took a hot shower, blow dried my hair, slipped on some black high heels and as we headed out the door I noticed my daughter’s face was flushed. I checked her temperature and she was fine, I checked her room temperature and it was fine. Maybe she was having an allergic reaction to something I ate? And then my stomach slowly sank. Oh my goodness, I bronzed my baby’s face! Crap! I walked out of her room, and confessed my gaffe. Since I applied the self-tanner EVERYWHERE, my daughter’s porcelain white baby skin bronzed while she nursed! I felt terrible and silly all at the same time!
Let’s not be afraid to share tender, not so perfectly glossy moments. Lacquered images are great, but the meat and potatoes of our days are filled with imperfections and more importantly heaping helpings of the biggest love there is, a mama’s love.
There are legions of mamas who have wonderful, hysterical bloopers. Raising children is serious business but it’s also incredibly fun business!
We’re all students, let’s cut ourselves some slack. Once in a while, we are going to trip up and hopefully we’re going to laugh about it! Authentic connections happen when we let our guards down and share these moments with each other.
:: What First Time Mama Bloopers Do You Have to Share? ::
