Austin Moms Blog | For Love of the Game, Father's Day

In honor of Father’s Day, I asked my dad to write on something near and dear to his heart. He’s been a dad for quite some time now, and…he raised ME, after all. He must know a thing or two. I didn’t give him much instruction. I love what he has to say below about sports, and competition, and teachable moments, and how to slow down and enjoy your time with your kids. Read and learn!

My daughter asked me to write a post for her blog.  She offered me little to no instruction.  She just told me it could be funny (or not), serious (or not), deep and thought provoking (or not).  Not that helpful.  She gave me a few examples of things other dads had done in the past, one being a post written by an “old dad”, offering some thoughts on things he would have done differently, if he could go back and do it all over again.  I guess I copied him a bit.  This isn’t going to be about things I would have done differently, but it is going to be an “old dad” offering advice.  After all, what else would be more fitting for an “old dad” to do, than offer advice?

So, after thinking about the myriad aspects of being a dad, my one piece of advice would be to you parents of younger children: Don’t try to FORCE your six to twelve year old son or daughter to be a future “All State” baseball, football or softball player. Make whatever game they show interest in, just that, a game. Make it fun with no pressure or any expectations.

 

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I was at the gym this evening and saw a dad and his young son lifting weights. The boy looked to be about 12 years old and his dad had him doing curls and had put way too much weight on the bar. The boy was really struggling to do even two or three curls. He was giving all he had and his father was standing there rolling his eyes and made several negative comments. I could see the hurt and pain on the boy’s face and in his eyes, not only from his attempt to lift the weights but even more so from his dad’s words and body language. It broke my heart to witness that and I was tempted to say something but I let it go. Do you think that kid will want to go back to the gym with his dad? I think not.

Our son Josh started playing baseball at a very early age and we spent thousands of hours on the field just playing, making it fun and creating games within the game of baseball. How many pop flies can you catch in a row? How many balls out of 10 pitches can you hit out of the infield? Let’s see who can throw the most strikes out of 10 pitches between you and me. Before we knew it, two hours had passed and he still wouldn’t be ready to leave the ball field. He wanted more.

Josh ended up playing ball all the way through high school and had committed to a junior college in Las Colinas to play. However, just prior to his freshman year in college he decided it was time to hang up his cleats and focus entirely on his education. Even though it was hard to imagine him not playing the game he had developed a passion for anymore, it was ok. It was his decision and I was fine with that. There was certainly a void in my heart because he had brought so much joy and pride to our lives watching him play but I didn’t pressure him to continue playing.

I did get up early one Saturday morning after his decision to not play anymore and I drove over to the Leander High School baseball field. I parked my truck and walked out on the baseball field and stood at 3rd base where he played two years on the varsity team and I reflected on all the great memories, the fun times we had together, the lessons of life that one learns from the great game of baseball and I have a feeling that Josh will one day park his car in that same parking lot and walk out to 3rd base and think, man my dad made the game of baseball fun.

Dads (and moms): have fun with your children. Make it a game and let them enjoy it. By doing so, you’ll create memories that they will keep for a lifetime.

 

Hayley Hengst
Hello AM readers! I'm Hayley. Stay-at-home mom to three boys/angels/tyrants (primarily tyrants). Most days, I am very content in that role. Other days, well, you know how it goes. I absolutely love writing for Austin Moms Blog. I also love: books, bubble baths, Mexican food, porch swings, and traveling. I hate: the hustle and bustle of trying to get out the door, on time, with all three of my kids. Seriously, I just kind of give up. You can read more about my crazy crew at www.motherfreaking.com!

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