If you are pregnant right now, whether it’s your first, second, or third (if you’re on more than your third, I’ve got nothin’ for ya. Three is all I know) and you are feeling downtrodden by some of the dire comments/warnings/heeds that well-intentioned friends are giving you, you are going to LOVE me right now.  I’m going to lift your spirits in one, 1000-word blog post.  So here we go.

 Crap People Say, That (In My Experience) Isn’t True, and Serves No Purpose Other Than To Depress/Terrify You:

“You better enjoy your sleep right now while you still can….once that baby comes, you’re never going to get good sleep again!”

For a time…yes.  That is true.  Like, for example, right now, I have a 9 day old.  And to say I’m getting no sleep is an understatement.  If this post is full of typos and spelling errors and is just a grammatical mess all the way around…I’m sleep-deprived.  I can’t be held responsible. good sleep again, EVER?? NOT TRUE!!! I was sleeping GREAT this time two weeks ago.  And just about every night between then, and the two years ago when my middle son was an infant.  My children started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks.  I’m not saying this is true of all babies…I get that there are exceptions….but to walk around telling every pregnant lady you see “enjoy your sleep now, it’s about to end” is unnecessary, and may very well not be their experience.

“Go on as many date nights as you can, WHILE you still can. Once that baby comes, you’re never going to get to go out anymore!”

We go on weekly date nights.  Always have, and I’m going to go ahead and go out on a limb and say….always will.  Even with three kids.   Yes, it can be done.  It’s not even necessarily all that hard.  Admittedly, we do have both sets of grandparents in town.  So I know many people will think, “well there you go.  We don’t have family in town, so that isn’t possible for us”.  However….even though our parents graciously take care of our kids frequently for us (Mom, dad, MIL, FIL…please don’t stop, now that we have three. Please? Pleeeease???), we also recognize that they DO have lives of their own, and so we try really hard not to overuse them.  That being said, we have babysitters in our stockpile.  At least three. Highly competent, highly trusted ones, that our kids love, and who love our kids (or who at least make our kids FEEL like they are loved, which is really all that matters.  If they go home later and talk about how annoying they were, well, what we don’t know won’t hurt us).  Babysitters are your friend!!! Find one.  Use one.  Go on a date!!!!!!!!!!  Can’t afford to pay a sitter AND go out somewhere? Pay a sitter, and then go grab a cup of coffee and take a nice drive somewhere.  That still counts as a date.  No money at all? Babysit swap with a friend.  Drop your kids at their house, and go home, light a candle and watch a movie together.  Free. Date.

“Sex? Once you have a baby, you will be way too tired to even THINK about having sex”.

Ok.  My parents read this blog. As does my mother-in-law.  So we don’t need to delve too deeply into this one.  But..just…not true.  I mean, we got pregnant with a third kid somehow, right??

“I haven’t read a book in ages.  Once you have a baby, you aren’t going to have time to read”

 I read all the time.  After my kids go to bed.  At 7:30.  Before I drift off into my really good sleep.  Whether it’s reading, or some other hobby that you really enjoy, I’m here to tell you that it IS possible to have offspring, and actually still….gasp….do something for yourself that you enjoy.

” Oh you think _____ kid is hard? Just wait until #_____ comes along.  THAT’S hard.”

Personal pet-peeve. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THIS.  Mark my will NEVER hear me say this phrase.  I despised it when I just had one kid, and would vent to a friend about how difficult the day had been, or how my toddler had pushed me to my max that day, and the friend would say, “Oh you think that’s hard.  One kid is easy.  Just wait until you have two”.  Cringe.  Mentally, I am rolling my eyes and sticking my tongue out at you.  My day WAS hard with “just” my one kid.  Don’t downplay it, just because you have two.  Or five.  It’s not just that it gets on my nerves.  It’s that…IT ISN’T TRUE.  Hear me out.  Yes, with each kid you have, you are stretched a little thinner.  You have more things to do.  You have less time to do it in.  More people need more things, and they all need it from YOU.  BUT…with each kid, your tolerance level raises a bit.  You gain more experience.  Your ability to manage chaos becomes more honed.  It balances out.  The amount of “overwhelmed” I felt when my husband went back to work, and left me all on my own with our first newborn, felt about the same as when my husband went back to work, and left me all on my own, to learn how to do my day with TWO kids for the first time, which I suspect will feel about the same as when he goes back to work on Monday and leaves me home to learn how to navigate daily life with THREE kids by myself for the first time.  Each change feels equally hard, because each one is much hardER than what you were previously accustomed to.  And then you get into your routine, you find your groove, and it all just kind of balances out.  Please don’t ever make that horribly annoying statement to anyone.  Please.  It’s just isn’t true.

“You’ll never have time to take a shower”.

Yeah.  That one is true.

Hayley Hengst
Hello AM readers! I'm Hayley. Stay-at-home mom to three boys/angels/tyrants (primarily tyrants). Most days, I am very content in that role. Other days, well, you know how it goes. I absolutely love writing for Austin Moms Blog. I also love: books, bubble baths, Mexican food, porch swings, and traveling. I hate: the hustle and bustle of trying to get out the door, on time, with all three of my kids. Seriously, I just kind of give up. You can read more about my crazy crew at!


  1. Love your blog – I can’t say that enough. You write in such a relatable way. But I just came across the first thing I disagree with: “The amount of “overwhelmed” I felt when my husband went back to work, and left me all on my own with our first newborn, felt about the same as when my husband went back to work, and left me all on my own, to learn how to do my day with TWO kids for the first time…” My first day alone with baby #1 was lovely – I was calm, cool and in control, albeit a bit tired. When baby #2 came along, I spent the first day solo literally shaking from stress. I couldn’t figure out how to nurse the little one without my firstborn landing in the ER. She would have, if I hadn’t plopped the newborn down –mid-feed– on the carpet to save firstborn from pulling a heavy lamp of the side table and onto her head. Got there in the nick of time. Really, I remember the constant stress of those early days with #2. But when #3 came along, this level of stress was just, well, normal 🙂


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