Dear socially outgoing mamas,
Hello, I have a favor to ask of you today: please don’t judge my ways
As a hands on mama, I love being a part of my kids activities. On any given day, if we venture out to public places, this is what I hear:
Mama, watch this…
Mama, come here…
Mama, help me…
Mama, I want you to play with me…
Mama, please push me on the swing…
Mama, let’s go…
Mama, stop talking…
Translation: “don’t even think about doing anything else.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love being wanted and who knows how long it will last. I must drink it up while my cup is full. I just don’t know how other moms I see can sit and chit chat while their kids are running around out of sight. (I’m a hot mess if they try to hide from me.) There are so many differences that I see between you and me.
You take your kid to the park and let them be free while you sit in the shade talking on the phone, playing with your phone or chatting with a friend.
I take my kids to the park and act like a kid because they want me to play with them. I may be able to stop and talk for a second, but don’t expect to have a deep conversation with me. Expect it to be interrupted umpteen times. Can we talk as grownups at nap time, night time or while they are in school?
You go to indoor play centers and sit with other parents and talk about fashion, books, movies and who knows what else (I honestly have no idea). There are people there to take care of your kids, right?
I am sitting at the edge of the foam pit or right outside the bouncy castle pulling out kid after kid that can’t do it alone because there is no one else around to help them. Does anyone work here? Maybe you think I do?
You make sure that parties are your social event as well. Let the kids figure things out while you look perfectly put together in a beautiful outfit, not a hair out of place and ready to be seen. And you do it so well!
I am in the trenches with the kids, either running after them in the yard, getting splashed in the face by water toys, or in the pool making sure no child is overlooked and all are safe and breathing while they use me as a flotation device. Do I look like an inflatable toy? Wait, don’t answer that. Why? Well, because they asked me to so nicely and I can never say no to sweet kids that want to play. I don’t mind if I look a mess ( just don’t take any pictures of me, ‘k?)
You may be raising strong and independent children that will have no fear of socializing and do great in any situation. They will love you and look up to you always. You may be popular and never be without a place to go with good friends. Your life may never feel empty when your kids are grown and out of the house because your social life has never changed.
I will also raise strong and independent children. It may take them a little longer to open up and trust others. I am ok with that. I will hopefully be seen to my kids as a friend (especially when they are older). I will be there for whatever they need for as long as I can. I will be remembered as fun and they will help keep me young (lord knows I need it). I will look forward to every chase and every dunk and every laundry basket full of mud. And, yes, I will be a little lonely when they leave me, but I’ll survive and patiently wait for their visits.
I am a hands on mama and I will never change my ways. You and I are different. You and I see motherhood at two extremes but we are both doing the best we can. At the end of the day, I will be there for you and your kids when you need me and I hope you will do the same. We are mothers, we are family and we will love, laugh and learn together.
Please forgive me if my way seems strange to you. Please forgive me for sometimes not understanding your way. I hope that through it all we can still be friends.
Your disheveled but oh-so-happy friend