I recently found out that I’m having twins. Yes, it was a complete shock, but it worked out perfectly for me. I wanted 3 kids and my husband was dead set on 2. Haha…who’s laughing now? I’m sure I won’t be in 9 months.
After the initial shock, my husband and I started thinking about how this would impact us financially. We calculated daycare to equal almost my entire month’s paycheck, including my toddler son who will be 3 soon. Honestly staying home never crossed my mind, but a lot of people asked if that was what I was going to do. Basically, I’m going to work to pay for my child’s daycare, but here are a few reasons why I made the decision to continue working.
- Finding a marketing job in Austin can be very competitive, and the salary range is crazy. I honestly can’t risk quitting my marketing job, and then hoping that in 5 years I find another job that I truly enjoy and that will pay me a good wage. I quit my job after the birth of my first son, and honestly it was rough getting back in to the industry. I applied to hundreds of jobs and ended up having to take a job that wasn’t in marketing because I needed a job ASAP.
- I like my job, and my career is important to me. I went to school for a long time to pursue my Marketing and MBA degree, so I honestly don’t want to put my career on the backburner. I think of it as an investment in my future. Many women facing this decision would work for the insurance, but I don’t actually use the health insurance at my work. My husband has much better insurance and it’s cheaper, but I do invest in my 401K which I will continue to do.
- I don’t think I would enjoy being a SAHM to 3 children. Do I think I could do it? Yes, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for me. I love my son so much, and I cherish our time together, but twins + a toddler….hmmm. A part time job where I worked 3 days a week and could be at home with my kids the other 2 days would be ideal, but those jobs are very hard to come by, and part time day care is still freaking expensive.
Some people may think I’m crazy for continuing to work, but it’s a personal choice and right for our family. Have you had to face this though decision for your family?
Good for you mama! I am also the mom of surprise twins and while I’ve always had fun with them, I’ve also taken the route of investing in my career. It’s something that I find fulfilling and challenging and I agree with you that it can be hard to navigate in and out of the industry. And I’ve also found that the more seniority you have in your job, which you’ll maintain by staying in the workforce, the more flexibility you can earn to balance your work and life (for things like leaving early to pick kids up from school or doc appointments)
It is soooo hard to get back into a career after a hiatus. I would know.
I applaud you. I wasn’t able to go back to work, even though I wanted to and I love my job, because the cost of childcare exceeded my income. It’s hard to get rehired, and to stay current when you take time off, especially in a field like Marketing. It would be great if there were more options for families with two working parents: longer, paid leave, more substantially subsidized childcare.
I get where you’re coming from- I wish you the best in your career AND motherhood (which are not mutually exclusive!)
Good for you! I too work in marketing and while I’d love to stay home, our industry moves way too quickly to take a break. You just can’t stay competitive while the marketing world is whooshing past!
Yes! We could afford for me to stay home, and some days it sounds appealing. However, the 6-8 years I’d be out of the workforce, I’d never recoup those years in terms of loss of raises, years of experience, etc. I worked hard for my education and paid for it as well, not using it is not an option for me.
To balance, I have started paying for things I could technically do myself like a cleaning lady and a service to clean up after our pets. This allows me to spend a lot more time with my kids on the weekends and after work.
I both like and object to this post… This other post sums up why:
http://thebillfold.com/2015/07/please-lets-kill-til-its-dead-the-myth-that-moms-salary-pays-for-childcare/
We don’t assume that men work to pay for the house, so why do we assume that women work to pay for childcare?
Yes Amanda! I completely agree with that article, thanks for sharing!
I worked my butt off for my bachelors in Biology and minor in Chemistry but my babies are only little once so for me I personally wouldn’t choose to work. I love being home with my kids all day ( even though there are days they drive me super crazy). I can work later but my babies will be grown before I know it. Everyone is different though.
Personally, I find it incredibly rewarding to stay at home with my son. I saw his first smile, his first laugh and first steps. I couldn’t begin to imagine some other person witnessing these things before me. I understand that moms and dads want to keep their career however, and I know I will get lashed for this, I find it selfish. I understand people need to keep up with their careers, but there are usually classes and seminars (lots of times online) that can aid in this. I wish more parents would see the absolute value of spending the most time with their children as possible, rather than, “I want to make money.” You can’t take money or your career to the grave with you, but you can certainly take memories.
No, no lashings, but don’t be so quick to judge other families’ decisions. It’s not always about the money or the career, and God’s path for our lives isn’t always the same. Think of all those nurses and teachers and other professionals who are likely having or will have a positive impact on your young child’s like? At least some of them are probably working moms with littles. I worked part time after our first child was born, and I felt sorry for the kids who had to go to childcare five days a week. Then, I returned to work full time, but had my son in a home daycare, which I thought was much better that a commercial daycare. Then, my sitter moved out of state, so guess where my second born is going? Life and experiences have a way of broadening our perspectives, not to mention humbling us.
You understand that moms and dads want to keep their career but you find it selfish? I assume your husband works. Is he being selfish? Come on now. I work and so does my husband and we are far from selfish. We work bc it provides us with a comfortable life style to live in a nice (not extravagant) home in a safe and family friendly neighborhood and we can also afford Things like travel, organic healthy foods and extracurriculars. Not to mention saving for college and retirement, which is huge. Could we technically afford for me to stay home? Yes. But we would give up all of the savings, the nice neighborhood, the high quality food, and things like travel to see family and explore the world. Moreover, between my and my husband’s schedules she still spends PLENTY of time with us, more awake hours a week than she spends in daycare. And she has a place she loves going to monday to Friday 8-4. She gets to hang out with her friends and do fun activities. For us, it’s a win win and we don’t feel as tho we are missing out on anything nor are we being selfish.
Jesse, you are a great Mom! From you your kids will learn that they can be deeply in love with their children, amazing parents and can unapologetically make the right choices for their families! I would say the same thing if you were gracefully stating your case for choosing to be a stay at home Mom. There is no one right way to parent children! Thanks for courageously sharing this piece of your journey! Best wishes for your continued career and much good sleeper juju sent your way for your coming twins!
i have a 5 year old and 13 month old twin boys. I took went back to work. I’m a better mom because I work. I did find that getting a nanny was a better solution for us. I approached one of the teachers at our daycare and offered her the position. She’s making more than she did at the center and taking care of only : kids while I’m paying less than what I would have paid to send all 3 to the center (even with the multi-child discount). Not only is it more cost effective, but I cannot imagine trying to get out the door in the morning with 3 small children.