When Your Husband Gets It Wrong
I would first like to say that my husband is a caring man with a wonderful heart. He means well, but I’m just being honest when I say…he is not a good gift giver. Some people have the gift of picking out the perfect gifts for others and some don’t. Some people think they have that gift, and they might say things like “I buy things I like, so I know they will like them too.” Or “ I saw this, and it looked like you!”
I’d also like to say that I am an extremely picky person, and I’m very specific about things I want. When you are on a budget, you get like that. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and there have been very few times I’ve been happily surprised with a gift. My husband isn’t a planner of gifts, and often will leave whatever he bought me in the box it was shipped in from Amazon without any wrapping paper.
For the past year I’ve talked about wanting a pair of Hunter rain boots. As Christmas was getting closer, I kept dropping hints (red, tall glossy style) and even sent a link to the exact pair I wanted. Christmas day came, and I opened up the big box with a huge smile on my face. I read the words Hunter, and found a pair of red rain boots inside but I could immediately tell they were different than the ones I had been wanting. Turns out they were a different style. My husband could tell that I wasn’t over the moon in love with them, and said “Great, I got the wrong ones didn’t I?” to which I replied, “Yes, I’m sorry babe.” I later found out that he knew he ordered the wrong style, but he explained they were out of my size in the style I wanted and thought these would be close enough. If you are a woman that has wanted something very specific for over a year, you won’t just take something that is “kind of” similar.
It’s all about expectations. If you have high expectations, be ready to be disappointed if you don’t give guidance to your bad gift-giving spouse. These days I make a list. For Christmas/birthdays, I write out my top 3 wants, and he can choose. For Valentine’s Day I ask for a card/love letter from the heart, some sort of chocolate and flowers (this was after one year when I didn’t get a thing).
I wish I would be pleased with whatever my husband buys me, but I’m just not that type of person. My husband and I have extremely different tastes. If I ask his opinion on style, he usually picks the opposite of what I would choose. Therefore, I’ve learned that if I don’t want to be disappointed, I have to be very specific about what I want. Everyone is happy that way.
Have you experienced this first hand? What do you do?