austin-moms-blog-sisterhood-of-motherhood

We all become moms in the same way, one uterus at a time. And as we all earn this coveted, life-long title of “Mom,” we try our best to do everything right. From pre-washing clothes before baby is born and reading the latest baby books to shelling out extra cash on organic, Earthy, all-natural products. For me, DOING these things helped make me feel like I was going to do everything right.

Then baby came.

He didn’t care that all the clothes were color coordinated and organized according to monthly size. And, he certainly didn’t care that I had spent hours researching Pinterest to create the perfect mobile.

All he cared about is that I was there. Boobs out and available to snuggle 24/7. Done and done, little man. You got it.

Then after several weeks, life got a bit tougher. He no longer fell asleep without hesitance just by resting on my chest. My milk volume fluctuated as I tried to add sleep back to my life. When I started realizing that he didn’t qualify as a “newborn” anymore and our honeymoon phase of binge-watching Netflix on the couch together had to end, I began to question if I was cut out for motherhood.

I felt the ultimate of extremes. Somehow, I could feel like a complete superhero and failure at the exact same time. Take nap time, for example. There I was staring at the most perfectly made creature of all time THAT I CREATED (superhero, boo yah!), but mommy guilt snuck in and slowly I realized the the kid could only fall…and stay…asleep with my nipple in his mouth (failure, wah was). Literally. If my nipple was not my in his mouth, he woke up screaming like a banshee while simultaneously looking like a baby bird searching for food.

So here I am. New mom. Feeling like a failure. Google provided some normalization to my extreme, fluctuating feelings, but the best form of therapy for me was and is texting and chatting with my girlfriends.  Especially when wine is involved. I discovered new friendships, strengthened existing ones, and old friends resurfaced in my life that I haven’t seen in years.

I’ve always been a pretty sensitive person… sometimes to a fault; very aware and easily affected by what people think about me. I was skeptical of sharing mom victories and failures because I didn’t want to feel like I was doing anything wrong. But, I actually found just the opposite to be true. I have felt more of an outpouring of love and support than ever in my life.

People told me that everything would change when I had my son. And now that he’s here, I can honestly say that is the understatement of the century. But what I didn’t realize is that when I gave birth, I not only gained a son, but I also entered a sisterhood.

So thank you new friends and old friends. For the texts, the calls, the Facebook messages, and the wine nights. I promise to pay it forward.

 

5 COMMENTS

  1. Beautiful, raw sentiment! If only more people would feel comfortable saying, “me too”.

    May I just add – families are made in many ways – including adoption.

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