Teaching GRACE vs GOSSIP

What makes people do the things they do? Say the things they say? Act the way they act? What motivates people to be unkind? To spread hate? And can we stop it? Please? Can we stop it for our daughters and teach them to be full of grace and love and kindness? God. If only life was that simple.

I often say I’m not sixteen years old anymore or that I’m not in a sorority anymore – and that’s because I’m 40 years old. I don’t care what you wear or how your hair looks. I don’t care if you carry a two thousand dollar purse or if your clothes come from target. I don’t care if you drive a fancy car or you are in debt up to your ears. And why should we care about any of these things?

I care whether you are genuine and loving and if you are a great person. I care if you are giving to others. I care whether you are spiritual and not egotistical. I care if you notice things about people – what they love and what makes them happy. I care whether you make other people laugh. And shouldn’t we all care about those things? Shouldn’t we live in different world when we are 40 vs. when we were 16? Shouldn’t we live in a different world when we are mothers? Shouldn’t we teach our children these same things – to be kind and loving and to stop talking about other people? Do women really think our children aren’t watching our every move and listening to our conversations? How do we think our daughters learn how to be mean girls?

You get this ONE life – and at a certain age, shouldn’t our focus on other people change? Shouldn’t we focus within – and how to leave this world with a loving imprint? I know I’m naïve about some things – but I’m certain about this. Yes. I’ve gossiped in my life. I’ve been part of the cool crowd and the mean girls. I’ve done it and yes, it felt fun. But when I stopped fitting in, I realized I was doing the right thing. My life changed in an indescribable way.

If you know me, you know I’m a quote girl. I think I have ten thousand quotes pinned in pinterest, maybe more. And many of the things I read say that we are supposed to be flattered when people gossip about us. But flattery isn’t what I feel. Is it what you feel? When you hear rumors about yourself or know that people have nothing better to do than discuss your personal life? Do you feel flattered? Can we all remember how old we are and that if you are curious about someone, you could just go straight to the source? Seems silly, right? To be mature enough to just ask people directly if they are curious about something? Or do we not communicate directly because we know things aren’t our business? Like – why people are fired from their jobs. Why people have been arrested. Why people get divorced. Why people adopt children. Why people move.

Gossips are worse than thieves because they steal another person’s dignity, honest reputation and credibility, which are impossible to restore. So remember this: “when your feet slip you can always recover your balance but when your tongue slips you cannot recover your words.”