A moment of sentiment, dedicated to My Three Sons, From Their Mama (who is finding herself feeling increasingly sentimental, in the months leading up to the first birthday, of her last baby ever)

G-man. My oldest. My first. We decided we were ready to have you, and so we figured we would just….have you. We didn’t know it would not be that easy, and that it would be another two years before we would FINALLY find out that, in fact, we WERE going to get to be (your) parents. I just knew I wasn’t pregnant. KNEW it. But lingering, false hope is SO torturous, and so I made your dad ride down the road with me to Walgreens late one night, to buy a pregnancy test. A pregnancy test to confirm with certainty what I already knew to be true…I was NOT pregnant. We bought it, decided to wait until morning to take it, because the first morning pee is the best…..and then promptly ran straight into the bathroom at home and took it.  “It’s positive!!!” I yelled from the toilet. And that was that. Life, instantly changed, for the better. Your name means “brave and bold warrior”, and that you are, my feisty and ferocious little man. You are 99% your dad, and 1% me. You are a fascinating combination of the greatest and (and possibly some of the not-so-greatest) parts of each of us, and I think you are going to take the world by storm, the very second we unleash you. Only I don’t ever want to have to unleash you, because I was kind of hoping you could just stay with us forever.

DD. My middle. We were starting to think our “brave and bold warrior” was going to be an only child. You did not come quickly or easily for us. I was starting to give up hope… starting to convince myself that not ALL only-children are weird (your dad turned out mostly ok, after all)…and then Christmas morning came. I knew I didn’t want to spend all of Christmas day wondering, “am I? Aren’t I?”, so I got up SUPER early, and took the test. Merry Christmas to all of us. I was pregnant. I went ahead and peed on a second stick, and each of your grandmas got an amazingly awesome (and maybe slightly gross) stocking stuffer that year. Finding out you are pregnant on Christmas morning? I should have known you would be a special boy, and you are! Your name means “ruler of the people”. Man oh man will that piss your older brother off, if that proves to be true, but I TOTALLY think you’ve got it in you. Smart, hilarious, full of personality, and the sweetest heart. “The people” should be so lucky to have you lead them.

And oh my Baby A: Your brother DD was such a sweetheart from the get-go, that five minutes after he was born, I said, “babe, let’s do this one more time”. But daddy thought he already had his hands full enough taming his Bold and Brave Warrior, and training his little Ruler in the Making, so he said, “no”. And I said, “we’ll talk about it later”. And we did. For the next year, we talked about it a lot.  And we couldn’t agree.  And mommy felt so sad about it.  And then she quit feeling sad about it, and decided she had her hands VERY full, and that maybe two little men was plenty, after all.  So the decision was made….until a week or two later, when God make a different one. “I’d like to give you one more”, He said. And boom! There was mama, crying in the bathroom. “How could this have happened? We don’t GET pregnant without trying. I can’t do this! I already feel like I’m not handling TWO well. How in the world will I do three? And what in the HELL is daddy going to say?” So later that day, I pulled the test out of my purse, and wordlessly showed it to him, and he said……wait for it…..”whose pregnancy test is that?”. I’ll be honest with you, Little A…we spent a lot of your “cooking time” in shock, and not totally in a good way.  But then you arrived….and we loved you instantly and immensely. You are the absolute perfect completion to our family.  You are adored by your brothers. Your name means “Father of Peace”. I knew from the moment I saw your face that God knew what he was doing when He made you, but I knew it even more when I remembered the meaning of your name. You see, your brothers are going to NEED a Father of Peace to intervene for them, and we can already tell you are just the guy to do that. You are sweet and good-natured and full of joy, and we are honored that you are the “one more” God chose to give us.

My Three Sons…

You guys drive me to the brink of insanity on a daily basis, but there is nothing more precious in all the world than each of you. You are the very greatest things dad and I will ever do. It makes me want to weep sometimes thinking that your “baby” years will soon be over…sometimes weep tears of joy, and other times weep tears of sadness. But I cannot wait to watch each of you grow, into the amazing young men I know you are going to be.


Your (weeping) Mama


  1. As momma to 2 precious boys, I love this (and am in the same place Hayley was after 2 babies). Actually, I pretty much love everything Hayley writes. She perfectly expresses in every post, the thoughts floating around my head. Love it!

  2. I just had my third boy and I, too, am already missing the early days. They certainly grow up much too fast. Thank you for writing such an honest piece that speaks to me!

  3. Oh I loved reading this! I have lots of the same feelings for my three girls. One is hard and great. Two is also hard and great, and three is also hard and great. Somehow someway it all works, and sometimes the third is just exactly the right personality you need to soften the edges of the first two 🙂 And “Whose pregnancy test is that?” had me cracking up!!!

  4. I also have 3 boys, now 4, 6 and newly 9. Your personality descriptions of each match our own! I too placed a pregnancy test in a Christmas stocking. The news of baby #2 is still my husband’s fav stocking stuffer ever. May God bless your home richly! It is very special and challenging at times being the only female in the house but I wouldn’t trade the adventure for anything. ?

  5. I am currently pregnant with my third, after having my second 8 months ago. This made me tear up knowing that it’s ok to feel that “surprise” feeling all the way through this pregnancy. Especially when you feel like handling the two so far is not very easy. Amazing post!

  6. I love this post and can relate to it on so many levels!! I also am a Mom to three little boys who also suffered with infertility. We did IVF and were blessed with only two healthy embryos and 9 months later were blessed with our twin boys. Our RE told us there was 0% chance of ever conceiving naturally so we went on with our life thinking our little family was complete. But God had other plans!! Right before my twins turned 2 we discovered we were pregnant. To say we were shocked is an understatement!! I too spent much of this pregnancy wondering how I was ever going to handle a third. I felt like I still was in survival mode with twin toddlers!! But of course I wouldn’t change a thing and our third is such a blessing to us. Just goes to show that God’s plans are much better than our own!!

    I love your writing style. Do you have a personal blog that you write at it just for this website? Would love to follow you if you do!! Blessings!

  7. Awe – love this. My 3rd baby is also a Mr “A” “father of peace” and he’s already been just that for the older two who are wild, passionate souls. Loved this post. I’m finding 3 is the easiest transition so far…especially because the older two entertain each other! That, or I’ve become used to to insanity.

  8. I am getting ready to celebrate the 4th birthday of my last ever baby and Hayley’s blogs made me smile and laugh because I too know the humor of peeing with a little someone on your lap. I do miss the baby years already and cannot believe my first baby is graduating highschool and my last baby is getting ready to start school. It went by WAY too fast. Thank yoy to Hayley for reminding me, and all the other Mommas, that it is a crazy, scary, chaotic, beautiful time in our lives and to cherish and LOVE it! Also that we are not alone. This is a wonderful blog.

  9. Aww you’re so cute. Loved reading this about your three boys. SO true that they are all different, and exactly what you need. I love knowing that God knows us better than we know ourselves and that He sees the end from the beginning, the bigger picture and how it will all work together. I loved feeling the love you have for your boys through the words you wrote. What a beautiful talent you have. Keep loving those boys. Boys are so fun 🙂

  10. Thank you so much for this article. I have a soon-to-be 10 year old, a 14 month old, and am currently pregnant with my 3rd. It took us so long to conceive our second whom we wanted so badly, and then bam! Just like that we’re pregnant again, with a completely different reaction than last time. We hadn’t even discussed a 3rd child – it wasn’t even a thought in our minds that it could happen just like that! So when you described your mixed feelings about being pregnant again, it really struck a chord. Also, having always wanted a girl, yet having had 2 boys, I’ve been wondering how I’ll feel if it’s a third boy. This article really helped me feel that I would be just fine with it, and reminded me of how unique and wonderful each of my childen are, how much I adore my boys. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough.


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