If your kids play on any kind of tablet, I’m sure they’ve discovered YouTube Kids. We have it on our iPad and it’s awesome. I love it because I don’t have to constantly monitor the videos that my kids watch (unlike the regular YouTube where my kids found videos of Peppa Pig swearing something awful). While I think an overdubbed expletive-saying Peppa Pig is kind of funny (if you have the maturity of a 12 year old like I do), it’s not something that I want my kids to watch.
So far we’ve been pretty lucky with YouTube Kids and we haven’t stumbled upon any videos of a cursing Mickey Mouse or swearing pigs. That being said, while I don’t have to monitor the videos for bad words, it doesn’t mean that some of the videos aren’t completely awful in their own right.
Now, when I say “awful” I don’t mean that the video or audio quality is awful. I just mean that the videos are so painstakingly annoying that you’ll either want to pop a couple of corks in your ears or hide in your closet so you don’t have to see or hear anything.
If your kids watch YouTube Kids, I’m sure you’ve had the pleasure of experiencing some of these videos. I use the word “pleasure” lightly.
In no particular order, I’ve listed the most annoying YouTube kids videos below:
Any rendition of The Finger Family
Summary: I don’t remember this nursery rhyme from my childhood, but the amount of times that my 4 year old has watched it has more than made up for it. There are so many variations of this song but they’re all creepy. There are finger puppets on each finger representing Daddy, Mommy, Brother, Sister, and Baby. The creepy line that you’ll find yourself humming all day? “Daddy finger, Daddy finger, where are you?”
Any type of unboxing of new toys
Summary: I’m pretty sure my 4 year old’s entire Christmas list was based on toys that he saw other kids open. In these videos, there’s usually no catchy or annoying tune. The annoying part is that your kids will get angry and jealous that some other kid gets this cool toy. Every 60 seconds while watching these videos, my youngest will shout, “MOMMY! LOOK! I WANT THIS! CAN WE GET THIS?” Thanks a lot, random YouTube Kids star, now you’ve made my kid think that all of his toys are lame.
Summary: What in the world is so cool about these eggs? Actually, I can get behind the eggs themselves and why they’re so cool. But why oh why do kids want to watch other kids open them? How is that even remotely fun? In addition, now that my kids watch kids open surprise eggs (sometimes freaking ginormous surprise eggs), getting simple plastic eggs on Easter seems TOTALLY LAME. Thanks a lot YouTube Kids. Now I’ve gotta up my Easter game.
Johny Johny Yes Papa
Summary: After having to get past why the boy Johny only has one “n” in his name, I’m still kind of baffled by this song. Apparently the boy sneaks into the pantry to eat sugar and then lies to his father about it. That’s not a shocking concept, but in the video the boy looks a lot older than a kid who would sneak into the pantry to eat sugar. This is another one of those songs that you’ll find yourself humming while going down the aisle at HEB.
Summary: This is a recent addition for us, as my 6 year old loves Minecraft and has stumbled upon these videos. “Stampylonghead” is a British YouTube commentator. He posts Minecraft videos as the character Stampy Cat. Still confused what this means? Don’t worry, me too. In short, I am bored enough watching my own kids play Minecraft, so why do I want to watch someone else play the game and comment while doing so? Bonus: at least he’s got a British accent?
The Annoying Orange
Summary: It’s really kind of creepy just looking at him with his human-esque teeth. Annoying Orange lives on a fruit cart display in a kitchen with some of his friends– Passion, Midget Apple, and Grandpa Lemon to name a few. In most of the videos you’ll find Orange heckling other characters until they meet a sudden end with a knife. Gruesome? Maybe. Annoying? Most definitely.
Sadly, while these videos are annoying, it gives me just enough free time to go to the bathroom by myself or steal a few Girl Scout cookies from the pantry without anyone knowing. And really, isn’t that what it’s all about?