husband changed

Dear Husband,

I’ve been struggling with how to say this for a while now. For the longest time, I was afraid that if if I put it all down in writing then I would have to accept it as true. And honestly, I wasn’t sure I was ready to admit it, but at this point it’s undeniable: we’ve changed.

Now, before you get the wrong idea– let me explain. We’ve been through a lot in the past 11 years. We’ve gone through college. We’ve moved to a new place away from friends and family. We’ve gotten new jobs. Married. Kids. We got *newer* new jobs. Our life is constantly evolving and with it, our relationship. The good news? I’m so incredibly excited about these changes.

When we first met, we had so much freedom. We could quite literally do WHATEVER we wanted at the drop of a hat. It was We fell more and more in love exploring our new life together. We romantically escaped to the Hill Country and got married. We found new places to eat, made new friends, and created so many memories that I’ll cherish forever. We were young and free and oh, SO happy. 

It’s when that next chapter started that things started to shift. Enter: parenthood. As with any new parents, our relationship had to change. Not only did we move out to the ‘burbs (because #adulting), we had to take on new responsibilities. Navigating the world of “mom and dad” required us to test our patience and our strength more than I could’ve ever imagined. We had to run our lives on little sleep and little money. The stressors were (and sometimes still are) big ones. Some days were easy, but it’s safe to say that a lot of days were hard.

The beauty of the bond we’ve built is that I think the changes have made us stronger than ever. We’re different than we were when we started, in the best ways. 

We’re planners now. We plan our weekends in advance 99% of the time, because #babysitters.

We’re packers now. We can’t just leave the house “real quick” for a day trip (or heck, even for lunch). If we’re leaving the house, we’re packing approximately 578 items into the diaper bag JUST.IN.CASE.

We go to bed early. On any given night, we’d rather stay home having dance parties and alternating who has to play Barbie for the next 30 minutes than go out to a crowded bar.  

We have a secret language of communication. It may involve a lot of pointing, referencing obscure ideas, and over-exaggerated facial expressions, but it works for us. Whether our littles are playing together and having a blast (which is super loud) or they’re fighting and whining for our attention (which is super loud), we’ve had to develop a form of communication sans a lot words.

Our idea of romance has completely changed. These days, a bottle of Cook’s and steaks on the grill is Fancy with a capital F. It’s the little things, ya know?

It’s the little things that make us so strong, but it’s the big things that got us to this point. I’m so incredibly grateful for everything that you do and for everything that you are. We may have changed, but I’d be willing to say that we’re better than ever.


Your wife



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