Family – blessing and a curse. I literally say “I’m so lucky” so much that I need to find a new caption for Instagram. Really though, I am – we are – and sometimes I have to remind myself of that when I’m rolling my eyes, feeling anxiety and wishing I lived on an island. I am so thankful for family.
Parenting requires a village, a big one, and I honestly can’t imagine doing it alone. We generally aren’t scrambling for babysitters. Rather, we’re strategically figuring out how to give people enough time to babysit. When I need to work late or am out of town, my husband and I can count on a daycare pickup assist. If I want to enjoy a family function with a glass of wine on the couch, I always know someone will volunteer to feed my kid dinner, put him in pjs and change his diaper.
With that being said, sometimes I feel like it’s conditional love. I’m helping you. I love your kid. I raised my own kid. So I can do (and say) whatever I want.
Sometimes my child is swept out from under me only for my parenting to be completely disregarded. For example, feeding food I don’t feed him, as I’m standing there. Or delaying bedtime when he’s cranky, after I’ve reluctantly agreed to let someone else to put him to sleep. Acknowledging our excessive amount of stuff, turning around and buying more toys. Accompany that with direct statements like, “I’m probably going to get in trouble for this,” or, “You’re no fun,” as they’re inserting spoon… refusing to put him down… handing over another gift.
I just don’t get it.
I realize things aren’t the same as they were 30 years ago. Us “new moms” tend to do things very differently. But is it too much to ask, though, for some simple respect as a parent and to my parenting style? Especially when I feel like I go above and beyond to spend as much time as possible with family in the first place. I also try so hard to be flexible around family – beyond what’s normal to me – and “out of sight, out mind” shouldn’t be the most at-ease I’ll ever get. Standing my parenting ground vs. being thankful and appreciative is a fine line that sometimes I genuinely find hard to balance. It even makes this blog post hard to write.
I love my family. It’s massive, on all sides. We’ve faced difficult tragedies, which makes them even more precious and makes us even closer. I try to be conscious of complaining because of all of this, and I really am beyond thankful. I also know there are many out there who would give anything to have what we have, and I hope one day I can find a little more peace with this rather getting frustrated every time I’m trying to parent under one roof.
Just let me be a parent, please, so I can be focus on being thankful for you.
What about you? How does parenting mix with your family dynamic?
