Wanted for immediate friendship:
Cool mom friend who likes to drink wine and is available for daytime playdates. Hopefully has at least one child around the age of 1.5-2 and lives in the Cedar Park/Round Rock/Leander area. Must love show tunes (because Hamilton), reading, and bike rides with the kids. Bonus if this mom considers herself somewhat “basic” i.e. likes to watch trash t.v. like the Bachelor/Bachelorette, is cool with pumpkin spice lattes, and enjoys a good browse through Target. The ideal candidate will also fall somewhere within the “scrunchy mom” spectrum because I just can’t commit to the whole “crunchy” lifestyle.
Does any other mom out there feel like making mom friends would be so much easier if there were just an app for it? Can someone please invent the tinder for moms app? Seriously? (Side note: I found said app while writing this piece! It’s called Peanut. Go download it and find me!)
Every time I make plans with a potential new mom friend I get all nervous. It feels a lot like a first date. Will she like me? Will she like my kid? Will I like her? Will we have things in common besides the fact that we both have a young child? It’s the same when I’m with my kid at a playground. I now scope out potential mom friends. It feels weird because it’s eerily similar to the way I used to scope out guys at bars with friends in college.
When I see a mom I think I might like I get flustered. How do I start a conversation? Do I compliment her cool leggings? How do I ensure we actually meet again? Do I get her phone number, or add her on Facebook? Should I wait for her to ask me? The other day I had a conversation with a nice mom at the neighborhood park and didn’t even ask her what her name was, let alone get a phone number! How did I not do that? It’s like I don’t know anything! When did I become this awkward person?
I’m good at friends, I swear!
I love friends, and I’ve generally always been pretty good at making friends. I’ve moved to lots of new cities before and always manage to make some excellent friends. It’s easy. I just find a theater or choir to participate in, and boom; instant friends. The only problem is, now I have to think about friends for my kid. He’s too young to make his own yet, but as a stay at home kid, he needs to socialize with toddlers his own age.
Now all of this being said, I’ve had him in Gymboree since he was about 14 months old, so he does get some socialization there. I’ve also tried a few local mom groups and toddler time at the libraries, but I just haven’t found one to stick with yet for various reasons. I think mainly because those groups always seem too big. There are too many mom options within them and I just haven’t found that magical one that has clicked yet.
All of this would be so much easier if all of my “already friends” friends with kids didn’t live states away. I MEAN SERIOUSLY COULDN’T ONE OF YOU JUST MOVE HERE! I’m looking at you Ashley and Allison. I jest…sort of.
I’m just at an impasse lately. Friendships are now harder to maintain because I only have so much free time. I have to spend some time working to maintain friendships and I have to decide, do I focus on spending time with my friends that I’ve known for a few years but have no children that are the same age as mine? Or do I spend time working on forging new friendships with moms who I might not immediately click with? It is a really weird place that I never imagined I would be in. I wish it could just be as easy as it was in the second grade passing a note that says “Want to be friends? Circle yes or no.”
Hopefully, as time goes on, I will feel less awkward and find my mom friend soulmate. The silver lining with seeking mom friends is I do have some good contenders and hopefully this year, I will learn to feel less awkward.