I’ve Overbooked My Life

As mothers, why are we all chasing this myth of having a perfect symphony of days spent cultivating friendships, building empires at work, spending quality time with family, exercising and eating well, and sleeping like a log every night?

More importantly, what is missing from this list? Spirituality? Simple downtime?

As a mother, self-care tends to be discarded the moment we become blessed with children.

With 24 hours in a day, it is honestly hard to find time for ourselves outside of the daily grind. It’s way too easy to become overbooked. Choices become scarce… we can either do the laundry or let our family re-wear dirty clothes and hope no one notices. We can take a morning shower or pack a healthy lunch for the kids. It seems like there should be room for more “ands” in our life (as in take a morning shower AND pack a thoughtful lunch). The reality is many of our decisions as a mother are driven by love for our family and not love for ourselves.

So how do we find time for ourselves in this season of mothering?

The practical answer is to ask for help and actually accept it when it’s offered. The bigger answer is to value our needs as much as our children’s needs, with no guilt attached. This could mean saying no to that volunteer event at your children’s school because you’re tired from volunteering at two other events in the past week. It could mean asking a family member to take over childcare duties for three hours while you read a book or take a bath or take a nap. It could mean inviting extended family to come stay at your house for a weekend, so you can escape for a getaway, alone or with your partner.

I recently escaped to a quiet retreat about 90 minutes away for three glorious nights alone. I read, I slept, I was well-fed with wholesome home-cooked meals, and received not one, but three massage bodywork sessions. It was an amazing experience that brought balance and self-respect back into my life.

I came home with an enormously full tank of patience and love for my family.

The ultimate truth is no one is in perfect balance & harmony, all the time. As mothers we are all overbooked. They key to sanity is to honor what you need at this time in your motherhood and own the knowledge that it’s enough for right now.