No good Very Bad Day? Be Here Now, Not There!
I quickly wipe tears away from my swollen eyes as my daughter leaps in for a giant embrace. She is truly the most empathetic creature I have ever met. She is always the first to comfort her baby brother, and well in this moment, me. I didn’t mean to cry in front of her. In fact, I always wonder what the appropriate amount of tears are a child should be allowed to see and worry I could cross that threshold at times.
In our house we like to say, sometimes we can be happy and sad at the same time. For it has been a long time since I have felt that empty sadness I felt at one point. However, that doesn’t mean I am immune from hard days, weeks, and in this particular moment—just a tough month overall.
And right then I was too tired to pretend otherwise.
As I sat enveloped by my daughter’s tiny arms, baby brother body clobbers the two of us, slamming us into the ground. Obviously, tot wrestling ensues. Cue onslaught of tickles and shrieks of laughter. Taken over by this moment with my children, I literally forget why I felt “sad” seconds before.
And then it hits me, no need to remind myself. Just be here now. Be in this moment. Because this is a good moment.
So often we hear the phrase “this too shall pass,” and we think of getting through the morning chaos, the temper tantrums, and the incessant needs of young children. I try to take a deep breath to escape, as I am tugged, pulled, yelled at, and just needed so much.
“This too shall pass.”
I say this when I am hustling to check unanswered emails, cleaning up disgusting messes only to turn around to a new tornado unraveling behind me.
I say this when I attempt to answer an important phone call thereby igniting the tantrum gods.
I say this to my daughter and son as I coach them to breathe deep through their tiny diaphragms to release their ballooning emotions.
…And then I remind myself to do the exact same thing, so I don’t get sucked into a reactive state of their explosive outbursts.
In fact, I spend so much time escaping to find my inner calm (because for me IT IS A struggle!) that sometimes I forget a much larger, much more important lesson.
And that lesson is to be here now with them.
Because truth be told there are ten times more giggles in our house then there are screams even though sometimes it doesn’t seem that way.
Truth be told the same raw emotions that elicit tantrums also ignite the most genuine acts of love, kindness and innocence.
Truth be told my kids live in the moment which is why they are so reactive.
So while it is healthy to process and step away in order to gain our own composure, it is even more important that we remember to lean back in to the moment and breathe in all the belly laughs.
My children’s behavior has the potential to give me a superficially bad and very exhausting day/week/month… sometimes. However, my children’s behavior also fills me up with a depth of irreplaceable joy, even in their worst states.
If you want to know what being in the moment truly looks like, look to a child. They will most definitely be happy to teach you. Then join them. It’s so fun in their world.
My children are never the true cause of my inner chaos. Like many moms, sometimes I struggle with the layers of expectations between home life and everything else. I often think I need to step away from the moment because I cannot handle one more thing that second.
Maybe I had a no good very bad day and the screams from telling my child “No” are just too much right now. But then again, maybe I had a no good very bad day and being right here, right now, is not only my antidote, but moreover, my compass.
Be here now with them because this too shall pass.