Real Talk: I’m Afraid Of My Next C-Section

Now that my son is 2, and my husband and I are planning on having at least one more child, I’m coming face-to-face with a very real fear of mine. I’m afraid of my next C-section.

Why I’m afraid

Let me first start by saying I’m glad my son was born healthy no matter how he came out. I also will HAVE to have c-sections with any subsequent children for various reasons. A V-BAC is simply not an option for me. Also, I don’t want to scare anyone who will be having a c-section anytime soon. I just want to talk about a very real fear that I’m sure many women have. C-sections are pretty common and fairly routine, so try not to worry.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s move on to why I’m afraid.

I’ll go into it knowing for months what will happen.

My first (and so far only child) Ollie was born via c-section. It wasn’t a particularly eventful or out of the ordinary birth experience. I did not go into his birth with a planned c-section, but I also knew it was a possibility. Both my mom and sister had c-sections. I know how body types work genetically, so I was prepared for all outcomes.

By the time they wheeled me into the surgery, I had already tried pushing for hours. They had even tried suctioning him out to no avail. So needless to say I was ready to have him out no matter how. I had already been awake for hours laboring and I was beyond tired. I simply didn’t have time or the willpower to be afraid of a surgery. However, next time around, I will have months to think about my coming surgery. I’m a ‘quickly rip off the bandaid’ kind of gal.

Having to wait anxiously for months does not sound appealing to me. 

It is a major surgery

Although the actual surgery wasn’t that bad (because you know you can’t feel anything), the after was pretty rough. I had never had a surgery before my c-section (well unless you count wisdom teeth, which I don’t), so I had no idea what really went into self care after a surgery.

I didn’t know just how much I would hurt with basic body movements like lifting my arms or sneezing. Everything hurt. Granted I was probably also sore from labor and pushing, but add in the fact that my stomach had been cut open and it was just not pleasant. Even though a c-section is common and routinely done, it is still a major surgery. That in and of itself can make it scary.

It is going to be hard dealing with a toddler after having had a major surgery

Whenever I do get around to having a second child, my first won’t magically go away. He will still be there running around wanting attention. My son loves being picked up by his mommy and getting a little rough and tumble. One of the rules of a c-section is you can’t pick up anything heavier than your baby for several weeks or else you risk re-opening your wound. Even after the proper healing weeks have passed, I will still be sore. It will take a while to finally be able to be the usual mommy that my son knows. I’m also a stay-at-home mom, and not a lot of family live super close by. It will basically be all me all the time with my kids while recovering from major surgery. That will be no small feat.

I am afraid of all kinds of needles

Before my Ollie was born, I was very afraid of an epidural (which by the way I ended up looooooving because it was amazing). Those things are the monsters of all needles, and I’m the kid who used to have to be chased around the room to get a shot as a child. My big sister used to have to sit on me in order to hold me down while I got them. But, once actual labor pains hit, they were so bad that I literally didn’t feel the Epidural shot when I got it. The next child will be scheduled, which means I won’t have the labor pain to hide the pain of that enormous shot. That fact makes me incredibly nervous.

A Necessary Fear

Although I have a very real fear about my next c-section, I also know it will be necessary to get what I want. I love my son more than I dislike a c-section and I know that will be true for my next baby. So, although this fear will probably always linger until I’ve been through it again, I know it isn’t big enough to keep me from having another child.

And hey, on the plus side, I will have a scheduled birth day for my baby to look forward to. I won’t have to worry about going into labor at some inopportune time. Another HUGE plus will be I won’t have to go through the whole labor process again, because let’s be honest, that stuff is ROUGH.