Choosing And Preparing For High School

I am not emotionally prepared for my first born to go to high school, so thank you, readers, for humoring me as I process this life changing stage through the writing of this post.

Most importantly, I thought I was doing the right thing by letting my son have his personal space. However, I read that 12 hugs a day helps our teens thrive.

The article advises us as parents to move past our teens’ obvious awkwardness during these hugs and remember how critical affection is to a teenager’s development.

I’m ashamed to admit that I wasn’t coming anywhere near to 12 hugs a day. Now I am intentional about it.

It just so happens that high school looms right along with the (normal yet difficult) pulling away of teens. If I could go back to the last time Niko asked me to lay with him and he talked my ear off, I’d be in absolute heaven and would savor every moment.

My son wants to go to a high school where he’ll know people, he wants to stay with his friends. I like this idea. Many of these kids have known each other since kindergarten. I’m of the belief that enough is going on developmentally – physically, emotionally and socially – and having a place where Niko feels like he belongs is my ultimate goal. Academics is absolutely important, but its culture is critical for me. I want him to be seen as an individual, and for the school we choose to exemplify kindness and encourage innovation.

8th grade boys, many of whom have known each other for years.

I’ve asked him to consider 3 schools to get a good idea of what he likes. I’m the one driving this initial process. We have one Catholic, and 3 public schools (yes, this is a total of 4. I included the high school that’s actually in our district in our search, because it might pleasantly surprise him even though he doesn’t know anyone going there).

Mamas, after each of our tours, the 4 public high schools ALL felt like universities to me: due to the size (1,600+ students), and the open and spread out campuses. I went to a small, Catholic high school where I knew almost everyone already. However, I know that my experience isn’t – and shouldn’t be – my son’s.

Below are our school choices and the pros and cons of each based on personal visits and tours, which we took in mid-November. The pros and cons I list below are personal to my experience, and are not meant to criticize any school. They are based on one unique visit and are the honest assessment of my limited exposure to the schools. The main thing I critiqued was the culture I felt and observed as we walked the hallways.

 

  1. Were we greeted?

  2. How engaged were the students? Are the kids working together?

  3. Were teachers and students interacting with one another? What is the relationship like between student and teacher?

  4. How active is the parent community?

 

In addition to silently observing, here are some questions to consider on a school tour:

  • Describe the school, student, and teacher atmosphere/culture.
  • What is the school’s biggest challenge, greatest source of pride?
  • What is the typical daily homework load for students? Is homework usually assigned during weekends and holidays?
  • What academic support is offered to students?
  • What type of organized student activities does the school offer? Dances? Field trips? Overnight trips?
  • How do you keep the students safe?
  • What does lunch time look like (are students allowed off-campus)?
  • What social and emotional support does the school offer students?
  • What type of college counseling is available? What about SAT prep courses and workshops?
Touring high schools together felt a little like preparing for college!

School #1: Anderson

Pros: Close to home, friends are going there, very organized and clear admissions, impressive International Baccalaureate program, good feedback from friends who currently attend, many clubs and ways to get involved, diverse programs.

Cons: Outside of our school district, intimidating student size (2,200) and large campus, felt a bit high pressure, lack of natural light in classrooms.

 

School #2: Austin High’s Academies program

Pros: Seemingly phenomenal programs targeted to Niko’s interests; very specific and clear objectives around each Academy.

Cons: Outside of our school district, Niko doesn’t know anyone going; competitive to get in; really big.

 

School #3: McCallum

Pros: In our school district, diverse, and an open and alternative feel. Impressive fine arts program that requires freshman to take courses, many clubs and ways to get involved.

Cons: Doesn’t know anyone going, felt a little rough and unmonitored, heard about vaping in classrooms.

 

School #4: Saint Dominic Savio

Pros: Smaller environment (approximately 400 students, yet still double the size of current school), religious foundation, close knit community, very organized and clear admissions with many opportunities to get to know the school, good feedback from friends who currently attend, many friends going.

Cons: Almost $12k per year, far away (but bus transportation is available for an additional cost), potentially too conservative (i.e. enough freedom and anonymity to explore and discover himself?).

 

Now that we’re on the path to choosing a high school, how can I help Niko prepare for it?

  1. Include him in the admissions process (adhering to deadlines and practicing essay responses, thinking about who to ask for recommendation letters).
  2. Establish a consistent, organized homework routine (I need to get on this one!).
  3. Practice preparation through reminder notes, alarms on phones, reinforcing good habits.
  4. Fostering independence – especially learning how to advocate for oneself.
  5. Talk about the logistics of a typical day’s schedule. This could include creating visual reminders of class schedules and important dates.
  6. Find ways to connect with new friends (clubs, extracurricular activities).
  7. Consider a mentor for him. Perhaps even a therapist to prepare for the transition to high school.
  8. Discuss peer pressure.
  9. Keep talking, hugging and dreaming.
  10. Praying BIG.

 

Here’s to the next stage in Niko’s life, and here’s to me as I grow with him. For all of you mamas going through a transition with your child, I am holding you close to my heart with full faith that our children (and we) will be just fine. I’m also fervently praying that each of our precious children feels they belong, wherever they go.

What do you consider when choosing the best school for your child? Please share in the comments!

Brittany Jedrzejewski
Brittany’s two children (now a teen and a tween!), have gifted her with the most beautiful name (and role) in the world. Their journey together inspires her to pursue her passion of writing, a powerful catalyst that brings mothers together in sisterhood. As the Preemptive Love Coalition says, “When we live like we all belong to each other, we answer much of the longing in the world.” Brittany is grateful for a work-life balance in digital marketing @gemalto and as a brand architect working with female entrepreneurs who are making the world a better place for their clients. She’s also an outdoor lover, reader, memory maker, runner, joke teller, ambassador for the poor. Looking to publish The Virtual Village. She has a great Brad Pitt story and uses Instagram @brittfarjed to tell her story.

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