Finding My Purpose Again After Becoming A Mom

What is our purpose? That’s a pretty deep question that I’m sure we’ve asked ourselves more than once. Those of us who are decisive and quick have an answer at the ready. They know themselves and what their goals, dreams, aspirations are. Then there are some of us, like me, who have stumbled when answering. Who aren’t sure what our purpose is or how we go about feeling fulfilled.

Many moms, especially those that are SAHMs (stay at home moms) have questioned whether they have a purpose outside of being a mom.

That is a deep, thought provoking question and one whose answer I’m not currently searching for. Why? Because I personally feel that I’ve found my purpose after becoming a mom. It became even clearer to me once I quit my job and decided to become a SAHM.

Let me explain. I’ve always been a lover of learning, reading, and helping others. My schooling focused on Psychology and Human Resources. When I started working I realized that Human Resources was a great place for me because I could help others. I could continuously research new laws and requirements and learn about better technology methods for record keeping, hiring, etc.

I was happy, thriving, and loving what I was doing, up until I started working with toxic and negative individuals. Being young, or younger than I am now, I allowed their negativity to seep into my own life and became a cynic. Suddenly I was annoyed with all the requests for help, the fact that people didn’t understand the guides I painstakingly created for them or needed assistance for the 20th time made me angry and frustrated.

Towards the beginning of my pregnancy I recognized that I was allowing these people to make me so unhappy and started making changes to find the positivity in my life. But with the prospect of becoming a mom I wasn’t as focused as I could have been on becoming happier at work and life.

Madison and mom meeting for the first time.

Then Madison was born.

This perfect, fascinating, and spirited little person who needed me day and night. She needed me to learn everything I could about how to take care of a newborn, breastfeed, and be a mom. She needed me to read up on new techniques to help keep her calm, happy, and healthy. I realized suddenly, one morning while I was researching mom groups and reading up on the best books to buy for motherhood that this is what I wanted in life.

To be a mom. To constantly learn, research, provide nurture and guidance to this tiny person who loved me just as much as I loved her.

To this day I’m still finding the best ways to teach her how to be independent, resilient, and learn. We’re going on daily adventures with her dad and at the end of the day I’m not laying in bed wondering if what I did that day was meaningful. I know I’m making a difference, I know I’m helping a little person learn herself and about the world around her.

Perhaps in a few years when Madi is in school and learning more from others I’ll seek out additional purposes to help fulfill my needs.

But right now I’m Madison’s mom, that’s all the purpose I need. 

We’d love to hear from you in the comments about your purpose being a mom. 

2 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you so much for this post. It really resonated with me and my current “situation,” if you will. I am a mom, I love being a mom but in that process there was a loss of my former self. It’s natural, but no one talks about it! Things are simply different and you can’t possibly be the same after you become a mother! That said, I really wanted to so some soul searching….part of my New Years resolution to myself. The book, Defining You by Fiona Murden was recommended to me by a friend. So, I am here to encourage other mother’s who are interested in doing some soul searching and self-discovery to check this book out. It is so refreshing to LEARN about my NEW self! My old self would be proud! I wish I could meet this Fiona woman in person, she sounds fascinating. I did some background snooping before I committed to the book. Her website was really helpful, http://www.fionamurden.com

  2. Thank you so much for this post. It really resonated with me and my current “situation,” if you will. I am a mom, I love being a mom but in that process there was a loss of my former self. It’s natural, but no one talks about it! Things are simply different and you can’t possibly be the same after you become a mother! That said, I really wanted to so some soul searching….part of my New Years resolution to myself. The book, Defining You by Fiona Murden was recommended to me by a friend. So, I am here to encourage other mother’s who are interested in doing some soul searching and self-discovery to check this book out. It is so refreshing to LEARN about my NEW self! My old self would be proud! I wish I could meet this Fiona woman in person, she sounds fascinating. I did some background snooping before I committed to the book. Her website was really helpful, http://www.fionamurden.com

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