Or should the real question be what type of Mom friend do you want to be?
Imagine that you are running out the door with a messy bun, black leggings, a graphic t-shirt, a little mascara & lip gloss, and a large coffee mug. Who are you going to meet? Whoever that is THAT is your person! I used to roll my eyes every time I heard (Find your tribe) or (It takes a village) but after I became a Mom it made perfect sense to me.
Do you want to be the: meet you for tacos Mom, sends funny memes Mom, play date Mom, workout buddy Mom, happy hour Mom, or let’s brunch on a Sunday Mom. It took me years to separate being a just a Mom-friend from being a Friend-friend. I found that too often I was only talking about my kids and not at all about myself. Because during the day the Mom hat that I wear seems to take over. But once you open up to a friend you will notice that we have much more in common than you think. I too am an exhausted woman who fills in gaps of time to see what Meghan Markle is wearing.
Making Mom friends is easy but keeping them will take effort. After all, Mom stands for Master Of Multitasking.
Multitasking is all that we do! I can’t be the only one who eats breakfast, standing up, while drinking coffee? Am I? OK, I’m going to just go Oprah on you right now (YOU get a Mom friend and YOU get a Mom friend) Yes, it’s true there is a Mom friend for everyone. Now that we have that out of the way let’s decide how to find her and keep her!
First, I want to point out a few traits of being a good Mom Friend:
- Be vulnerable– Let’s not pretend that we have it all together. Talk about any challenges that you are facing with your kids and or home life.
- Be funny– I am drawn to people who are funny because I love to laugh. So find your funny person to help you through all of the seriousness of raising a family.
- Be present– We are all busy! However, glancing at your phone while you are out with a friend can come across as rude. Keep this shared moment with a friend as a chance to connect without your news feed as a distraction.
- Be a good listener– I need to take my own advice here! Sometimes I get caught up in what I want to talk about that I forget to wait and listen to what my Mom friend would like to say.
- Be helpful– This is specific to each Mom. Maybe this is a babysitter for date night, a fresh fruit basket delivered to her door, a shoulder to cry on, a closet intervention, or a non-judgmental conversation about parenting filled with a few head nods of acknowledgment.
- Be complimentary– How do we know if we are doing a good job as a Mom? That’s where you come in! Let her know that she’s doing a great job!
- Be forgiving– Show her some grace if she cancels on you at the last minute. As I open up my calendar that has more plans moved around than actually occurred. Find a day that will work for both of you to make 2019 the year of the friendship!
I’m not saying it has to be Charlie’s Angels all the time but I believe we are better in a community. We need each other to celebrate the good days and the not so good days. Because we are not just Moms we are Sisters. And Sisters stick together!
I’m always up for a sweat sesh. Consider me your workout buddy Mom Friend! What type of Mom friend are you? Let me know in the comments.