If You Give A Child A Cookie…

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If you give a child a cookie, he’s going to ask for two.

When you give him two, he’ll probably ask you for three.

When you give him the stink eye, he’ll settle for two and a glass of milk.

 

When you give him the milk, he’ll probably ask you for a straw that he will use to suck up milk and dribble it on to the table.

When he’s finished, there is no chance on Earth that he’ll ask you for a napkin.

Then he’ll want to look in a mirror to make sure that his milk mustache is still in place.

 

When he looks in the mirror, he might notice that his hair looks really cute… to you.

So, he’ll probably grab a pair of scissors and fashion his cut into a Mohawk. Just in time for pictures with the grands at the beach.

When he’s finished giving himself a massive make-over, he’ll want a broom to spread it all over your clean floors.

 

He’ll start sweeping.

He’ll definitely get carried away and he’ll spread the hair throughout the entire house.

He may end up putting soapy water on the floor and pretending to mop while he’s at it.

 

When he’s done, he’ll want to fight you at taking a nap.

You’ll have to sit with him for what feels like hours next to his little bed, with its blanket and pillow.

He’ll ask you to lay with him as he’s not comfortable and he’ll ask you to fluff his pillow a million times.

 

He’ll ask you to read the same story that you read every day – Just three more times!

So, you’ll read to him until your throat dries up, and he’ll ask to see the pictures, even though he’s seen them every day of his life.

Seeing the pictures will make him want to draw a picture and, since this nap was a lost cause from the beginning, you’ll give in.

 

He’ll be so excited about his drawing that he’ll want to sign it… with a permanent marker… on top of your kitchen counters.

Then he’ll want to hang his picture on your non-magnetic refrigerator.

Which means he’ll go through three rolls of tape just to get one, non-twisted piece of tape.

 

He’ll stick up his drawing and stand back to look at it.

Looking at the refrigerator will remind him that he’s thirsty.

So… he’ll ask for a glass of milk.

And, chances are, if he asks you for a glass of milk, he’s going to want one, no two, no three cookies to go with it!

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