“Enjoy those moments. They don’t last forever.”
That sentiment is expressed to new moms often. It’s also a comment on a photo my cousin posted about her newborn being in the anti-sleep club, how tough it can be seeing those newborn eyes beaming at her in the middle of the night. The statement was preceded and proceeded with additional comments ranging from “little angel” to “but she’s cute!”
Positivity is great (and definitely needed), and maybe I’m wrong, but I think in that actual moment she was also looking for some genuine empathy, encouragement and/or advice in response. It can be really hard to enjoy every moment when some of those moments you can barely keep your eyes open. I just want to make sure no one feels lesser of a mom, or worse – a failure, by not feeling as constantly positive as all the well-intended feedback.
Having a newborn is hard. Being a new mom is hard. And trying to live up to the expectation of making every moment count can be overwhelming in itself, especially when that go-to statement is handed out in just about any scenario.
We have these actual precious angels, yet there are moments when we can’t seem to move through the weight of exhaustion that is pinning us down.
The reality is that newborn life from the outside can look and feel much different from when you’re in the throws of it. Sometimes it’s not always cuddles and kisses…. and that’s okay.
It’s okay for some days to suck.
It’s okay to cry.
It’s okay to vent.
It’s okay to not soak up every single moment.
It’s okay to love that little bundle of joy with all your heart, and still need and want a break.
There can be cause for concern if every day is a feeling of down and out, but general ups and downs are normal. Keep the perspective real.
One day we will look back, and this newborn phase WILL seem easy and dreamy, but for now, we enjoy the ups, forge through the downs, and keep doing the best we can do.
Enjoy every moment that you can,
but it’s okay if that’s not 100%.