Self Care isn’t enough.

I’m not saying that it isn’t important–necessary, even– to take a few minutes to breathe in the middle of your day. Or that cup of coffee with your Bible. Or that run to clear your head. Whatever your chosen self care method, I’m not saying it isn’t a good thing.

But when you try to regain some sense of independence or rest in retreating into yourself, you will probably find that, more often than not, you return to “real life” just to find there’s more to clean, more boo-boos to kiss, more papers to sign, more meals to make, etc, etc.

Which is why I say, self care just isn’t enough.

We need community care. We need a village. We need to learn to be vulnerable with other moms, other parents, other families, and to share the load.

In today’s culture of mom guilt and instagram-perfect houses and lunches and Halloween costumes, we cannot do it all.

And no amount of wine, coffee, hot yoga, or bath bombs and romance novels, will enable us to be able to do it all.

We weren’t meant to do it all. YOU weren’t meant to do it all.

Allow me to come alongside you, momma. Ask for help. Ask for me to watch your littles for an hour so you can go to that appointment, maybe it’s therapy or maybe it’s the dentist. Let’s get together to go for a walk, with all these kids in tow, to share honestly about the equal parts exhausting and wonderful job of motherhood.

There’s another reason self-care isn’t enough. C.S. Lewis, author of the children’s book series The Chronicles of Narnia, along with other favorites of mine including the Great Divorce, a Grief Observed, and in Mere Christianity, wrote that a humble person “will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.”

I know that in this current culture, it may be considered a sin of sorts to say it, but self-care just isn’t enough to make us happy, healthy, or whole.

Before you start to leave me a biting comment about how moms are under-appreciated and need time off and help and rest, I absolutely agree with you! As a new mom and even newer addition to the stay-at-home mom force, I know that this job is often a thankless, exhausting, lonely one.

Which is why I say, self care just isn’t enough.

When you spend all day focused on your littles, forgetting to focus on the One who created both them and you, you will end each day without seeing the fullness He meant it to contain.

We were meant for rest in Him, regardless of our circumstances.

And we were meant to serve, as Jesus did. But we cannot do that if we look to ourselves to complete the task; we must look to Him.

Self care isn’t enough. We need each other, and we need God.

Hannah Haro
Hannah Haro, PT, DPT is a physical therapist, wife to Daniel and mom to Mina (2018). She was born and raised in a small northern Michigan town, is bilingual, helps run a soccer clinic for kids with disabilities, is a Christian, and a partner at the Austin Stone Community Church. Though Hannah currently works as a PT in a pro bono clinic at University of St Augustine, she has previously worked as a babysitter, downhill ski instructor, math teacher, barista, and health coach. She likes to say she is in the business of rehabilitation: of people, as a PT; and of homes, as she and her husband are now on renovations for house #4 in as many years. She also loves coffee and anything chocolate, enjoying the green spaces of Austin, and a really good sci fi/fantasy novel while curled under a blanket.


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