I am sure we have all noticed the differences in our societal expectations when it comes to parenting.

The never-ending list of expectations that women have to be a “good mom,” and how it seems like men are just supposed to work, show up, and love to be a “great dad.”

We could write a book about the ridiculousness that still exists today and things that make it better or worse.

But have you also noticed how dads specifically in entertainment are often either portrayed as dumb, completely incapable, or villains?

I honestly think I have noticed this more since I became a mother of boys and it got me thinking.

There are a few quotes I have seen floating around that made think back to how dads are portrayed and what our society expects of them.

One says, “Husbands, love your wives well. Your children are noticing how you treat her. You are teaching your sons how they should treat a woman and you are teaching your daughters what they should expect from men.”

Another says the “best thing you could probably do as a father is make sure they see how you love their mother.”

I agree that loving your spouse can be a powerful teaching tool but it isn’t just a dad’s job any more than the dishes are a mom’s.

It is not just my husband’s job to teach our sons about love and expectations of a relationship, it is also mine.

We can’t post these great quotes while we are at the same time demeaning our husbands or harboring resentment and think our children will grow up to have successful relationships.

Mommy issues are just as common as daddy issues.

It is our job to show them that it is an equal partnership in different ways too.

It is my job to show how a partner should be respected, loved, and cherished, as much as it is my husband’s job to make sure they know men do housework and change diapers too.

I have witnessed just as many women who treat their spouses like children, vilify them, or cheat on them as I have men.

Our actions impact our children too.

Relationships are work and it is okay for kids to see those sides and see you apologize if necessary and still love each other.

Relationships also sometimes don’t work out.

Ultimately, if we find ourselves in an unhealthy marriage it is also our job to show how two people who once loved each other and may have hurt each other in the worst ways are brave enough to part ways but respect each other in order to put their children first.

As women, I see many of us with boys talking about how we won’t raise heartbreakers or mean boys or chauvinists.

For me it is important that I raise kind men, who respect others and know that relationships take work, who might break a heart and have their own heart broken, but who are resilient and know their worth.

Marriages work two ways and too many times the expectations from everything from housework to love get lopsided. We have to do our part too moms.



Photography: Jessica Rockowitz Photography + Film




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