Dear Kids & Teachers, I’m about to show you how to have school finished in under 30 minutes a day.

School. Under normal circumstances, you would have a teacher that spent countless hours learning the ropes of running a classroom. They are also probably pretty driven to help you learn in a way that is fun and interactive. Unfortunately for you? I am not them.

Welcome to the crazy town bus, kids (beep, beep!). Let’s be 100% honest and clear, this sucks.

  • Step One: We are for sure going to pull out some M&M’s. I’m not sure what I’ll use them for but it’s chocolate so I feel like it has a place in our new classroom which also serves as our living room and sometimes laundry room. I’m teaching you 4th grade math this year which looks way different thanks to common core. So, here’s the thing. I’m not learning that. I barely made it out alive the first time and I’m not going back. Looks like we are carrying this one all over the place. Don’t be scared.
  • Step Two: And, it begins! This requires the instructions to be given and then I will wait to see if I did it right. By your look, I haven’t. Hmmm…  Ok, well we are completely done with math for today. We don’t want to rush anything. We want the information to marinate for a while anyways.
  • Step Three: Writing? Excellent, I love writing. And, after 5 minutes, I have realized that you do not. Will persevere. Fun topic? Ugh. Ok, I’ll just look up a writing prompt. Great! This one has some pictures. Wait for it, the topic isn’t fun enough? Ok. Will you think of one? You can’t? Ok, well we can let that marinate as well. I totally want you to feel passionate about writing. So, we will be done with this too.
  • Step Four: Last, reading? Ok, so here’s some books. Let’s do this! Write it in a log please and let’s discuss main ideas once your timer goes off. And, 12 minutes later, we have miraculously finished the 80 page book. Hmmm… excellent. And, you don’t want to talk about it. Cool, cool me either.

And, that’s How to have school finished in under 30 minutes a day. It’s also a brief explanation of why teachers need to make millions per year and also how I can’t teach my child so stop sending me zoom notifications.

As we embark on this new scenario and embrace the suck. Let’s all take a moment to recognize that we are all in the same battle and dealing with it the way we know how. No one knows what we are doing and it seems like the ship is definitely taking on water.

Conflicting information, ever changing TEA recommendations and new restrictions during a time of COVID have made going back to school nerve wracking and life-altering. Families and school staff are nervous, scared and although trying their best, having a hard time keeping up with the ever changing demands placed on them.

Can we have teacher appreciation week all over? Because they’ve earned that and some more. I can’t imagine what is going through their minds and hearts during this time. Teachers, we dearly love and admire you. Hang in there.

Parents, you hang in there too! I’ll need accurate representation from my generation to show that math was just done differently and my daughter doesn’t think I just made it up to eat the M&M’s.

Photo Credit :: Amy McLaughlin Photography


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