I was never a huge fan of that song by The Emotions. The thought of someone being lonely at Christmas was just so sad to me. As an empath, this song always had me in my feelings. It’s definitely one I skip on the Christmas playlist.

‘Tis the season to be jolly
But how can I be when I have nobody
The yuletide carol doesn’t make it better
Knowing that we won’t be together
A silent night, I know it’s gonna be
Joy to the world but it’s gonna be sad for me
What do the lonely do at Christmas
Oh, what do the lonely do at Christmas time

However, this year, these lyrics hit home than ever before. The reality is that many people have been lonely since March. Although many of us hoped that COVID would have kicked rocks by the holidays, we are not quite in a position to swap hugs with everyone, visit our elderly relatives or kiss newborns at the moment. Plus, ’tis the season for the flu and common cold as well. So what exactly can the lonely do at Christmas? Or better yet, what can we do to make sure the lonely is not so lonely under the circumstances during this time?

Our elderly relatives, neighbors, and community members have especially been challenged this year. Since March, mandates have been established for their safety but that does not mean they aren’t missing their friends and family.

  • This is where technology can be a useful tool to keep hearts connected.
  • This is a great time to purchase a device (phone, tablet, etc.) and set up Zoom, Duo, or FaceTime.
  • Drop it in the mail or at their door, along with a gift, to make sure that on Christmas morning, you can see each other’s faces while opening gifts.
  • Include them in the holiday festivities as much as you can and assure them that they are missed and loved.

The holidays are already a difficult time for many as this is the time we truly miss those we’ve lost. Whether it was prior to 2020 or just recently, the loss still leaves a hole in our hearts. It is so important to check in with people this season.

  • Make a phone call just to laugh, ask them how they are doing, or chat about absolutely nothing.
  • Send a “thinking of you” text or a smoke signal, it doesn’t’ matter.
  • Let someone know they are not forgotten and that you care.
  • Depression can grip the heart like nothing else. It’s incredibly heavy. The weight of depression affects the mind, body, and spirit but love can bring ease.
  • If we are intentional about love, we can help bear the weight and help bring relief to the people in our lives.
  • By the way, love, kindness, and compassion can shift the lives of strangers too.

If you are experiencing loneliness, allow me to pour some love and encouragement into you. I get it. This year has been tough. Although quarantining has been helpful for our physical health, I acknowledge that it’s been an emotional, social, and mental struggle for many. You feel empty. If you’re an extrovert or a hugger, this has been especially challenging for you. However, I want to encourage you to reach out to friends or family if you feel like you’re drowning and to embrace those whose hands are extended to help if they notice that you’re drowning. If you don’t live alone, hug often. If you do, laugh often. If an online community is your only choice at the moment, find a community. Connect with positive, uplifting, like-minded people, and communicate often. If hopelessness is setting in and you feel like you’re losing the battle, please reach out to organizations that were created to help walk you through to the light. Fight the urge to allow the weight of depression to bury you by opening yourself up to love for relief.

Sending an abundance of love, peace, and virtual hugs to you all this holiday season.

Keocha LaFleur-Anders
K. LaFleur-Anders is a wife, mom, foodie and fitness enthusiast who moved from Baton Rouge, LA to Round Rock, TX with her family in 2007. She has been married to her best friend, TJ, for 15 years and they have 5 children (Malik, Jadan, Elijah, Isaiah and Hannah) together. After 10 years of juggling football practices, volunteering, operating family businesses, pursuing professional careers and working in corporate America, she decided to return to her first love. She believes that her gift of writing is to be used to extend love, offer encouragement and provide motivation to women who just need to breathe and hit their wellness reset button. K. is honored to be a part of Austin Moms Blog and looks forward to sharing inspiration with moms everywhere. Follow her blog, Reset with K., for opportunities to join like-minded women as they invest in self-care and in each other.


  1. Thank you so much for your post. It’s 3:00 o’clock in the morning and I woke up singing this song! So I wanted to start a happy list of things to say and do. You said exactly what I was thinking! Love you. This was a divine connection!!!


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