It is safe to say that we have all been in situations where we desperately tried to manage the outcome, or how other people reacted to certain situations. Being in control can be stressful and overwhelming. I know personally because I used to be the type that tried to manage everything in my life, and it drove me completely crazy.
I used to think that if I controlled everything in my life I would find peace, harmony, and happiness. That thought to me was so appealing, but as satisfying as that sounded at the time, I learned that is not how reality truly is.
Life happens outside of our control. People will do what they want, regardless of our feelings. Situations will happen as they unfold, and outside influences remain out of reach of our own power. Life happens, the way we want it to or not.
So, since life happens as it will, can we let go of trying to manage everything? Can we surrender to control?
First, let us clarify what surrendering is, and what it is not. First, surrendering control does not mean failure, they do not go hand-in-hand. Surrendering means that you have made the conscious decision to stop the pain of fighting or have decided to release the pain of the present in moving forward. Surrendering begins when all other strategies have been exhausted.
It is natural to try and control. We try to manage what enters our home, our safety, and our lives in general. Situations will arise and we will naturally try our best to control them to keep those main goals in place. But there are times where we cannot manage, and we must indeed surrender to what we face.
Releasing Control and Surrendering
The path to surrendering can be difficult. The actual moment of surrendering itself is the tranquil part; it is the exhale. Once we have arrived at the decision to surrender, the control we had (or tried to have), releases itself and is replaced with feelings of relief and peace. The situation itself may or may not have improved, but the act of surrendering has either given us a sense of relief and/or transparency. When we surrender to control, we let go, we accept, and we look at what is happening now with a new vision.
When we do surrender to certain situations, people, etc., and let go of the reins, we also open the door for change, opportunity, and new ways of thinking about the present situation. When we surrender the control, we let life take it’s own course and lead us down the path.
There is that age-old saying that “life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we react.” This is absolutely true. We can control our attitudes, our thoughts, our responses, and our behavior.
To answer the question from the beginning, yes, we can surrender to control to a degree. We can surrender to the thought of trying to manage what is not within our control.
Remember, you cannot manage all aspects of life. We cannot control what people think, what people do, all situations around us, all outcomes and the passing of time are just some of the things out of our control. Stressing about what is not in your control not only is stressful and a waste of your time, but it will not change the situation or outcome.
It is best then, to indeed surrender.
Even when you cannot manage what is happening around you, can you still focus on your own self. Ease your grip on all the things outside of your control and find your peace. Your peace is priceless.
Photo Credit :: Allison Turpen Photography