It was right after our six-month anniversary when we came back from a dreamy bed and breakfast vacation that I knew he was the one. We felt so much alike, we liked the same food, movies, music, and enjoyed just about everything together. It was soon time to meet each other’s families and take our relationship to the next level. | Interracial Marriage Realities for Latina Women

Meeting the Family

I remember it vividly. It was Christmas time and he brought me up to meet his entire family and I was extremely nervous. I remember rehearsing names, looking at my reflection in the small car-visor mirror and taking a deep breath. My stomach was in knots and butterflies were fluttering in my stomach as I walked into his grandmother’s home for the first time. As I walked in, there were more family members than I could count, and all eyes at that moment were on me.

As I walked over to his grandma sitting on the recliner, I looked at his grandma and introduced myself.  She said, “Well hello there, nice to meet you. So, do you make my grandson tacos and tortillas?”

Time froze as I stood there in shock. My mouth dropped and my heart sank. I knew at that moment I was the Mexican girl their white relative brought home for the holidays, and at that point not much more. It was at that very moment I knew we were in for some interesting times ahead.

Language Barriers

It was then his turn to meet my relatives. When my father and grandfather spoke Spanish in front of him and he couldn’t understand their conversation, he quickly downloaded Spanish learning apps on his phone in an attempt to understand glimpses of conversations. He began to watch Spanish soap operas (novelas) and trying his best to learn the language before his next trip to see them again. I loved how dedicated he was, and I was trying to help as best as I could. Learning a new language can be hard!

Interracial Marriage Realities

So here we are 10 years later and two children together. What are the interracial marriage realities I have faced this far as a Latina woman?

  • Some family members will not take your relationship seriously.
  • You will constantly be asked questions about how you can handle each other being from different backgrounds and ethnicities.
  • People will always have their opinions about your relationship based on race alone.
  • You will at some point encounter racism.
  • Your home will be a melting pot of cultures and traditions, and that is ok.
  • You will develop thick skin over people who don’t agree with your marriage based on race.
  • You will encounter people saying “I’m not racist, but” and make a racist comment.

At the end of the day, this is your relationship and your marriage. As a Latina woman, many of us already come with sass, thick skin and an attitude. However, certain comments do sting if they are from people that mean a lot to you in your life. At that point you will have to realize if they feel this way, that is their feelings and a reflection on them, not you. You will either have to have a heart-to-heart with them to respect your relationship, or distance yourselves from them.

It has been over 50 years since interracial marriages have been legal in the United States, thanks to Loving vs. Virginia. A quick google search will show that roughly 28% of Latina women are married outside of their race, and steadily as a nation, the acceptance of interracial marriage is more prominent today. I am proud of being a Latina woman, proud of my marriage and of our two beautiful children. If you are in a interracial marriage, comment below and let me know what you think!

3 COMMENTS

  1. Your experience sounds like a beautiful tale for me. I think you are blessed and have been very lucky.
    My experience has been full of domestic violence and I’ve been judge and criticized for my culture and traditions by my own white husband.

  2. This was a great read! Thank you for being brave and writing about your experience. My husband and I have been married 13 years and have 2 daughters. I am white and he is Hispanic. We have definitely been met with racial comments or opinions regarding our relationship our daughters from both sides. To be honest, it didn’t really dawn on me that my own family had racist tendencies until my very own sister and her husband ignored my husband and made very racial comments. We find commonality with fellow interracial couples that we have adopted as family.

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