This is the fourth in a six-part series on abusive relationships and domestic abuse/violence. The new Netflix show, Maid, has brought attention to emotional abuse and the role it plays in domestic violence. The show helped inspire this series, as Austin Moms seeks to bring further awareness to the issue of abusive relationships through the personal stories of some of our team. If you need help, call 512-472-HELP(4357).
Domestic violence knows no color, nationality, or gender. Abusive relationships can actually begin as a beautiful love story. Abuse does not always present itself in the form of being physical.
● Doesn’t respect your boundaries
● Has a history of abuse in previous relationships
● Makes you ask permission to go places
● Isolates you from family and friends
● Makes mean and degrading comments about your appearance
● Displays instant mood changes like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
● Says things like, “I can’t live without you” or “you don’t need anyone else except me”
● Calls you things like stupid or ugly
● Blames you for how they feel “I wouldn’t act like this if you…”
● Criticizes everything you do “You don’t ever clean right” “You dress like a…”
● Doesn’t take responsibility for their actions “Well, look at what you made me do” “It’s your fault that I hit you”
● Throws objects or punches holes in walls
● Controls all bank accounts and you can only withdraw or have money with their permission
● Jealous-Accuses you of cheating even though you are not
● Is upset when you are “not on time” or if they cannot reach you quickly
● Is easily angered if they see someone talking to you (they assume you are interested)
● Pushes, shoves, or chokes you
● Threatens to make you or your family members disappear
● Guilt-tripping by telling you “Look at all I have done for you..So you will do what I say”
● They dismiss your feelings
● Role reversal…They say you are the abuser for not doing what they say
● Damages your personal property such as your vehicle
● Abusive to children and pets
This list is not an end-all be-all to domestic violence-mental or physical.
Love is not abusive.
If you recognize signs of physical abuse and are needing immediate help, please call 911.
If no immediate danger is present but you need someone to talk to, please call:
The Safe Alliance (Austin)