Does the perfect balance between work hours and life with the family exist? We hear gurus and professionals rave about this balance they create where work, kids, peace, and sanity all reside in harmony but what does this actually look like? How do we keep work from bleeding into our personal life?
In a perfectly balanced world, we would do more traveling.
In a perfectly balanced world, you would see my family singing in the car at the top of their lungs just like you see in movies.
In a perfectly balanced world, I could get through a chapter in my book in one sitting.
In a perfectly balanced world, I would have high energy all day long to keep up with the toys, laundry, snack sessions, grocery list, and I wouldn’t forget that we are out of toilet paper.
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Let’s face it- life doesn’t work that way. There’s never going to be enough time, you feel like you don’t have the energy, or head space to live in complete bliss so while there won’t be a perfect balance, there is a sweet spot. Think of it as having a quarter of a glass full of orange juice and filling the rest of the cup with Prosecco. Sounds like a sweet spot to me!
So while we lack in one area we can make up for it in another without feeling burned out and exhausted.
As mothers, at times we can set unreal expectations of what this “balance” could look like for ourselves and our families. These expectations could be set by what we see on social media, where Karen is taking her kids this weekend, and among other ways but let’s set this straight- Your sweet spot may be different from everyone else’s and THAT’S OK. Take that deficit mindset and put it to the side because these expectations you set for yourself as a mother are mentally draining and just plain exhausting. Oftentimes, we experience mom guilt. We feel guilty for not being able to give our families MORE of us but maybe you just haven’t found your sweet spot yet!
- Set a schedule around your non-negotiables
Let’s prioritize. What are some things that you want to fit into each and every day to create that harmony you desire? Some of those things may be finding a new recipe for dinner, craft time with the kids, or an hour at bedtime to finish that chapter, work is also non-negotiable. Realistically, set these things in stone and the other things should follow. Keep in mind that these things don’t have to be extravagant! If you haven’t seen the animation Inside Out, you should! You are essentially creating core memories outside of work hours.
When we were younger my dad worked a lot and my mom stayed home with us for the majority of my childhood. The times my dad was absent don’t ring a bell but I do remember the times he was present for football games to see me cheer, I do remember riding horses with him. I do remember sitting at the kitchen table with my mom making a paperclip necklace. Core memories!
2. Taking time for YOU
Life can get hectic, emotionally stimulating, and sometimes it just feels as though we are in a pressure cooker. Taking care of your health and well-being is crucial for commuting moms and WFH moms. As moms, we are promoted to house cleaner, cook, teacher, and counselor. We also know every child’s birth date, soccer practice, doctor’s appointment, school supply list, how much milk is in the refrigerator, and what size diapers the baby wears. Throw work on top of that and you got one exhausted mama. Take time for yourself. Even if that means going to go get the milk by yourself in silence. Go. The brain clutter doesn’t clear itself so give yourself some grace mama. You are doing the best you can in this thing we call life so instead of comparing yourself to others throw the expectations out the window. Create a sweet spot that will bring joy to you and your family.