Creating your birth plan- some say it’s vital, some say it’s pointless, some say make a loose plan and forget about it. 

RELATED READING :: My Birth Plan is Not to Plan, Anything Can Happen!”

Here’s my advice as a birth doula, birth trainer, and mom of two (with two radically different birth experiences): creating a birth plan is an essential tool to be utilized no matter how you birth your baby.  

Why? Well, there’s a few reasons I’d like to cover. But first let’s discuss one of the biggest reasons why some moms might tell you to skip it and not waste your time:

Birth trauma: Unfortunately in America, birth trauma is very common. Up to 34% of women in the US categorize their birth as traumatic. Many times this is with their first birth, but may occur in any birth for a multitude of reasons. It saddens me to say- I have heard many mothers say (or read in mom Facebook groups), “births never go as planned, so there’s no point in making a plan”. Or something like, “my birth went horribly, nothing like I had planned, so I will never make a birth plan again.”  “My birth plan went out the window as soon as my OB came in the room”. Their opinion most likely comes from their personal experience and perhaps they even see their opinion could be helpful to you or even protect you from disappointment. That makes sense. However, it’s important to remember that their opinion potentially comes from a place of trauma and pain because of their own birth experience. This is NOT a statement to point fingers. Any feelings a mother has about her own birth are valid and all of our stories deserve to be heard! I cannot stress this enough!! In fact, my first birth experience was filled with pain and disappointment. It is true that at times, we do make a plan- and it goes out the window. But we must remember this: one mother’s difficult birth is not a reason for you to skip planning out yours. This is your story Mamma. It doesn’t belong to anyone else.

Your birth probably won’t go 100% exactly like the paper, but planning is still important. Your opinion and your birth desires matter! You and your baby deserve to feel cared for, respected, and loved! You cannot advocate for yourself or your baby if no one has any idea what you want in the first place. Your care team needs to know your birth preferences and desires before you go into labor! The written plan is a reminder for the OB’s/Midwives, nurses/assistants, your partner, and doula. It keeps things simple, organized, and helps create a better flow. Can you imagine having to memorize (or your partner) your birth plan, reciting it to your care team every time the staff changed and then again at each moment something was happening? Also, you’re laboring and then pushing a baby out?! That’s crazy! I don’t know about you, but writing it all down certainly sounds less stressful! 

Now let’s talk about some examples of what you’ll need to decide on in your birth plan:

  • Where do you plan to deliver your baby? Hospital, birth center, home? Depending on your answer will also determine some of the outcomes of the questions below. This is because the hospital model often is vastly different from the birthcenter or homebirth setting.
  • If you birth in a large OB or Midwifery practice, you may have someone you don’t know catch your baby. Is that okay with you? This answer can also help determine your birth setting.
  • Do you desire an unmedicated birth? If so, educate yourself AND your partner on ways to relieve pain/discomfort during labor. Take some childbirth classes, read books, listen to podcasts, & hire a doula that shares your values. 
  • Do you plan for/desire an epidural, induction, or scheduled cesarean? It’s important to discuss the risks and benefits to the fullest degree with your healthcare provider before it’s time to have your baby. 
  • Will you consent to antibiotics during labor?
  • Do you want to eat and drink during labor?
  • Do you desire to move around freely?
  • Do you mind having an IV?
  • Do you desire to delay cord clamping longer than the standard time? 
  • Do you want to keep your placenta? 
  • Do you want to labor at home as long as possible?
  • Do you want to deliver your baby in any position that YOU desire? 
  • Do you desire golden hour?
  • Do you plan to vaccinate?
  • Do you plan to circumcise your baby boy?
  • Will you consent to all newborn screenings?
  • Do you plan to breastfeed? 
  • Will you have visitors at your birth place or home?

The list is really endless. It’s possible you may have read some of those and thought to yourself, “Wait. I have a choice in that”? The answer is YES. You have a choice in everything. Certainly, medical emergencies happen and there is no time to make a decision- that’s why we hire medical professionals. Barring a true medical emergency, you can say yes or no to any medical procedure or intervention. It can be very overwhelming making your birth plan! It’s definitely a lot to think about, research, consider, ect. So spending up to 9 months writing down your desires and preferences can be helpful! You don’t want to have to remember all of this information! 

After all of that research, thought, and writing down every detail, how can you possibly remain flexible? It’s all about mindset. This is a huge part of the work I do with my clients as we prepare for their birth. It’s okay to acknowledge birth is unpredictable while planning for your dream birth. Don’t you have the same mindset when planning your wedding? You plan the perfect day down to the napkin, but you know it’s possible so many things could go not as planned. In fact, they usually do- but despite that you still consider your wedding day one of the best days of your life. 

Approach your birthing day like your wedding day. 

You picked the wedding venue…… pick your birthing venue.

You hired the wedding coordinator…… hire the doula.

You picked out the dress of your dream & a meaningful wedding party….. Pick out the perfect laboring outfit and choose a care team that loves you and will appreciate the honor of witnessing you birth your child. 

I know it sounds like a fairytale, but I’m not naive. Birth is often loud and messy. There’s usually blood, bodily fluids, sometimes stitches and surgery. It can be scary and unpredictable. Birth can also be one of the most beautiful and perfect days of your entire life- despite plans going awry. There are tears of joy and awe from the first moment you hold your new baby. The life you spent 10 months creating inside you is finally here to look you in the face and call you Mamma. 

Acknowledge that most things in life don’t go exactly to plan. If you’ve been living life at all then you already know this! Just like with anything else you’ve experienced, when things change you pivot and move forward. Sure, it can be difficult and maybe even scary. But you know you’re strong and capable of making tough life choices when necessary. That’s being a mother. You have the power to do amazing, beautiful, and challenging things Mamma. Unleash your power. 

You set yourself up for success in birth when you make a detailed birth plan, trust your body, your baby, and your intuition. Let your intuition guide you in making necessary changes should they arise. Trust your maternal gut to give you the confidence to know what’s best for your baby. 

You are a powerful lioness. Believe in your ability to birth how you desire. Trust the process. 

Tori Chaffin
Tori is a wife, mother of 2 girls, a Birthfit coach, & personal trainer. Tori works in the home to raise her babies while also running her online personal training business helping moms during pregnancy & postpartum. When she's not "momming" or working to grow her business you can find her checking out a new coffee shop, beer garden, or working out. Her favorite foods include coffee, donuts, beer, & beef. She loves a good podcast or book she can learn from and believes that finding the simple joys in life are what make it so special. Catch Tori on Instagram @coach_tori_ or attend the pregnancy & postpartum support group she hosts the last Friday of every month at Truly Chiropractic.

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