There are only a few things I truly fear in life – driving in the rain, scorpions, and dying too young to watch my children grow.

My sister was diagnosed a couple of years ago with stage 1A breast cancer. I remember telling several people that if I were ever put in her shoes I’d have a mastectomy, because at the end of the day, they are JUST boobs, right?

The backstory – thanks to my hero of a sister, I found out in 2015 that I am also a genetic carrier for what’s called Chek2 – similar to the very well-known BRCA gene, but slightly less scary – also considered a newer genetic mutation so not as much research on the genetic marker either. Either way, this gene + my sister having developed breast cancer at such an early age put me at a significantly higher risk rate than the average woman. My prognosis would be to double up on screening compared to the average woman.

Watching my sister endure a lumpectomy, radiation, and ultimately, a double mastectomy made a huge impact on me. I practically lost my sister for a period of time due to this disease. I didn’t, and still don’t, fully understand everything she went through and for the first time in our lives, there was a disconnect. She immersed herself in the cancer community, becoming a counselor to other women, supported Breast Cancer Resource Center and walked in Austin’s Art Bra. As an Art Bra volunteer, I got to see first hand how cancer had affected these women – some had no hair, some had no nipples, most had mastectomies, but all of them were survivors. It was such a beautiful experience, but still it was easy to be 50 shades removed from cancer even with my sister going through all of this, because at the end of the day, it wasn’t me.

Here it is: 1 week ago, I had a double mastectomy. Today I get to sit here from my cozy bed while my husband makes all the decisions in our life so that I can heal from having my perfectly healthy breasts cut off of my body due to a genetic predisposition.

Following my oncologist’s recommendation, I had my first MRI where I learned that there was a lesion on my left breast, which meant I would need a biopsy. It took weeks to schedule, but I was finally able to have it done and thankfully, I was cancer-free and the lesion was nothing more than normal breast tissue.

Since we found out I was a Chek2 carrier, my husband and I started to have really serious conversations about what the probability data was really telling us. We came to the ultimate decision after meeting with one of the most aggressive and educated oncologists in Austin. I nor my husband will never forget her saying that if she was 35, had a sister with breast cancer, was a Chek2 gene carrier, that “she would scoop her breast tissue out with a spoon”. And so here we are.

Going to an oncology center, you definitely witness what cancer does to people. My experience was no different in the lobby of Texas Oncology, there are patients that are receiving chemo, there are patients that are brand new like me, they’re young, they’re old, they’re male, they’re female… cancer leaves nobody out. As fate would have it I had a choice, so many women don’t have that luxury and are faced with breast cancer and potentially metastatic cancer later on in life, which for those who are not up in up with cancer lingo, has no cure. Now who knows what the future holds for me, but one thing I do know is that I’ve taken every step possible to prevent breast cancer. Sure there is still a small chance that I could develop breast cancer, but it’s significantly lower than it would be if I had done nothing.

Recovery has been fairly easy at this point, but no doubt, this is a big surgery. I stayed in the hospital 1 night and have since caught up on 6 years of sleep deprivation at home with the help of pain medication and muscle relaxers. I’m ridiculously lucky to have an amazing support system around me that is constantly encouraging me and validating my decision to move forward with the surgery. While my journey is not over and I still face the reconstruction process, I am at peace with my new body for now.

So if you can take anything away from my story ::

• Please PLEASE get your mammogram! It is no longer recommended to wait until you are 40-45. If you’re at least 35, start NOW!
• Consider genetic testing to see if you are at a higher risk. 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.
• Mastectomies are no joke, but neither is cancer. You can have drains anywhere from 1-4 weeks. I was lucky as mine were all removed yesterday, exactly 1 week post-surgery.
• These images from Laura Morsman Photography don’t tell the entire story – Laura is magically talented and can literally make ANYTHING look beautiful… even a mastectomy. 

I no longer have breasts, my sternum sticks out further than my chest, I originally had 2 drains coming out on each side of me with fluid that had to be measured multiple times a day and squeezed out of the tubing {thanks, husband}, my nipples were spared but have the risk of dying so they’re dark and weird looking, I have no feeling in my chest {and may never}, I have incisions around my nipples and across my chest, and I’ve been living in my Recovery Brobe for the past week.

With every story, there’s a silver-lining … my silver-lining is, I don’t have cancer. I’ll get new breasts that my surgeon promises me will look like 18 year old boobs again! And I stuck with my decision regardless of how hard it was to make. I still have a lot of decisions that I plan to face head-on. I used the latest research, very intelligent doctors, prayers and conversations with loved ones to make this prophylactic decision to remove my breasts and reduce the constant fear. I am at peace with my decision.

Special shout out to Laura Morsman Photography for dropping everything and being at my home in 30 minutes after I decided on a whim to document my experience … you’re an incredible soul, Laura and I so appreciate you for always being there for our family & Austin Moms Blog!