Pregnancy is different for everyone. I’ve read comments from people who absolutely loved their entire pregnancy, others who only enjoyed the third trimester, others still who loathed the entire experience, but loved the outcome of a beautiful baby.
My two pregnancies were very different.
My first consisted of intense tomato cravings, mild nausea, and over the top excitement at the sight of my ever growing belly. I was on my pregnancy apps at least twice a day learning when my little fetus could hear my voice, when her eyes would open, when I could expect those first kicks. I could tell you exactly how many weeks and days I was at any given moment.
My second pregnancy was clouded in exhaustion and vomit. Part of the exhaustion was from the growing babe in my belly, the other was from chasing her sister around. The vomiting and heartburn came from the fact that the babe in my belly didn’t like spice or garlic, two items that I usually ate in huge quantities. She also craved carbs like there was no tomorrow and I stock piled pasta in our pantry like the world was ending.
Both pregnancies definitely had their issues, but they also had so many positive moments that outweigh all the bad.
Like hearing their heartbeat for the first time, seeing little hands and feet on the screen, telling my mom that she was going to be a grandmother, guilting my husband into buying me ice cream at 10 pm at night. It was all amazing.
It saddens me to think that I’ll never again anxiously pee on a stick and hold my breath for the results.
That I won’t run over to my husband with said pee stick in hand and show him the best news. I won’t feel that first kick or make bets about the sex of my little bump. I won’t be seeing my OBGYN team monthly/weekly anymore, a group of people I’ve bonded with. I’m going to miss knowing that I wasn’t alone even when I was alone because there was a little babe in my belly growing. I won’t have the power to make others give up their chair for me (I know that’s bad, but sometimes a mama has to sit!) and my family won’t be running over to me so they could rub my belly.
My body has done such amazing things and I’m in awe of it. It nourished and grew two beautiful girls and helped to bring them safely into this world. Now this part of my life is over and it is so heart breaking, but I have beautiful memories that I’ll be able to hold onto as I watch my girls grow.