One question I get asked more often than any other is, “Which transition was the toughest…two to three or three to four?

I never actually answer this question directly, because if I’m being completely honest, my kids are so close together that most of the past four years (the time we’ve experienced both of the afore-mentioned transitions) has been somewhat of a blur.  HOWEVER, after discussing with my husband who has a better memory than I, we agreed that two to three is the worst.  But that’s not what this post is about, is it?  I make that point to get to where we are now…four kids, with my youngest turning three in a few days…I’ve been there.  For those of you mommas who have four children in your near (or distant) future, let me tell you that you won’t know left from right, up from down, for at least a year.  Didn’t I just say that the two to three transition was the hardest?  Yes I did…and you’ll totally be congratulating yourself after surviving that one….Until number four arrives and all that you thought you finally had under control will be flipped.

So here’s a few facts, myths, and tips to getting through the three to four season of life from a momma who’s been in the trenches and made it out alive:

1.  Myth:  What’s one more kid?  After a certain point, what’s the difference???  Yes, if you’re the Duggar family, I’m sure going from 16 to 17 children doesn’t even register as a blip on the radar in terms of transitional difficulty, but having a fourth baby is a FOURTH body you have to keep alive, fed, thriving, etc when the other three are still demanding all the same, plus more.  Fact:  It’s not just one more kid.

2.  Tip:  Outsource.  If there is any time in your life that you can make peace with paying some one else to do a job that you’re completely capable of….it’s when you have four children (or more).  I don’t care if you’re home watching Real Housewives while the house cleaner is mopping next to you…make peace with it and just shell out the money.  If it’s in your budget, this goes for dry cleaning (you ain’t got time to iron, you’ve got 4 kids!), cleaning (that commode will finally get the deep clean it deserves), babysitting (you’ve GOT to have some couple time with that many children or your marriage will suffer), girlfriend time….and the list could go on.  It’s worth it.

3.  Tip:  Take a cue from Elsa and Let It Go.  Unless you are a hardcore Type A who thrives on having all aspects of life organized and under control (whether that come at the price of sanity or not), with making the transition from three to four kids, you must learn to let things go.  For me, it was the cleanliness of my house (I haven’t yet outsourced that one), wearing makeup on the daily (I don’t), and forgetting an important thing or two.  Now, in the same breath, I’d also advise to cling to your planner like it’s your life source.  I’m worthless without mine, simply because my brain just can’t keep up with much more than what our family of six is doing at the present.  But if I have my trusty planner in front of me, you better watch out…I might go all Type A on you!

4.  Fact:  Sleep deprivation multiplies with your fourth.  At least in our case.  When you have your fourth child, motherhood is old hat.  Nothing really surprises you.  BUT…having a fourth child usually means that your oldest is around school age…so getting to bed late, waking up for feedings/sickness (or both), night terrors, night owls, and then getting up early to get kid(s) ready for school leaves about 3.75 hours to get your Zzzzzz’s in.  Find a good energy drink and buy stock in it.

5.  Tip:  Allow more time for everything.  Transitioning from three to four children, you have to take into account the extra time it requires to get everyone ready….or else you’ll be late to EVERYTHING.  Strolling into church late with four kids doesn’t exactly scream “flying under the radar” when you have to do the crouched over shuffle finding the last open pew in the very front with four littles and a husband trailing behind.  No, this has never happened to us, why do you ask??

6.  Tip:  Grocery shopping logistics.  Put one in the front (or two if you’re at Costco or select HEBs), one in the cart, and the other two on the sides of the cart or hanging onto your bag.  Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT accept Buddy Bucks…this will throw off you’re whole shopping trip mojo and will inevitably spiral into chaos and tears.  Oh, and make sure you park next to a cart return.

7.  Fact:  For the first couple years into having four children, some one will always be crying.  Get used to it and learn to discern the cries…most aren’t life threatening.  I kid.  Sort of.

8.  Tip:  Cherish the craziness during the young years.  While it takes a lot of patience raising a large brood, make a point to be in the moment and enjoy those wonderfully messy years…especially if all your children are close in age.  Embrace the mess.

Moms of four, what experience would you add to this list???

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