I’m going to be very honest in this post, and share with you a part of my life that is extremely sensitive and personal. I’ve decided to finally tell my story because…well, I want to be more vulnerable in 2015 and I hope that my story can help or encourage other women.
I suffer from pelvic floor pain, specifically Vaginismus. It started 6 years ago and I have no idea what caused it, but I believe a part of it had to due with chronic yeast infections growing up.
The first gynecologist I approached about my problems had no idea what I was talking about when I described my symptoms. The second gynecologist I approached, advised me to seek help from a women’s physical therapist. My physical therapist diagnosed me with a slight case of Vulvodynia, but even she wasn’t 100% sure what was wrong. The most frustrating part during all of this was that no one could give me a straight answer. What the hell is wrong with me? What caused this? Is this treatable? I was prescribed dilators for therapy…if you have no idea what these are…well, be thankful. Painful, time consuming, uncomfortable, and the process is simply embarrassing (even though it’s just myself and the dilator).
Since moving to Austin I’ve been to an amazing physical therapist at Sullivan Physical Therapy, which specializes in Women’s health therapy. I used to go monthly, but haven’t been in quite a while. I’m sure you’re wondering what a women’s physical therapist does. My therapist would see me for an hour, and basically aim to relax the muscles in my pelvic floor as well as help stretch the area. Let’s just say it’s way more in your lady business than your annual gynecologist appointment. I have to be extremely vulnerable. It is awkward and uncomfortable, but the relief it brings far outweighs those feelings. Women’s therapy can help bring relief to many women’s conditions.
- Cesarean, Episiotomy and Scar Pain
- Constipation and Irritable Bowel Syndrome
- Incontinence – Fecal, Gas and Urine
- Low back, Sciatica and Tailbone Pain
- Painful Sex and Menstruation
- Pre/Post Natal Pain and Weakness
- Urgency – Bladder and Bowel
I tore during the birth of my son, and the scar tissue that has developed from my stitches is extremely painful during sex. Women’s physical therapy has helped with that as well.
So, how does this affect my marriage and sex life? Well, it is extremely painful to have sex, and it has become more difficult over the years due to childbirth, as well as my pelvic floor muscles tensing up every time I think of sex, or my husband mentions it. It’s hard not to associate sex to pain so when it’s brought up or thought about, I naturally have a horrible feeling because I’m reminded of the pain. This is my life’s biggest struggle. It has caused many fights and many tears. Not being able to have “fun” sex or sex on a whim is extremely sad. My husband has been sensitive to my feelings and caring all these years, but I know it is very hard for him. Thankfully, we do have sex, it’s just not often. Since my body naturally tenses up during sex, which only makes it more painful, we tend to have sex on nights where I have been drinking. Sex is much less painful when I’ve had a few drinks or more, because I naturally relax, therefore making it a more pleasant experience. I might have downed a few tequila shots before going in to the bedroom a time or two ; ).
I often ask God, why do I have this? Why me? It’s a battle I will always face, and there are many times I try to ignore it, but it’s not possible to run from this. This is a short version of my experience, so if you have any questions or would like to share your story please feel free to email me or check out my personal blog. I hope that my story can encourage other women to seek help or at least know that you are not alone if you struggle with painful sex.